inspired_life

I'm at a point in my life were I'm not sure were to go. I have a huge regret getting out of the Active duty Army. I can go back in but the only thing they are offering is Infantry... I actually thought about just doing it, but then my little and only brother died in June and that made me not want to go. To put my mom through worrying about me 24/7. I miss my friends , and my unit . I'm still in the Army just reserves which is a joke. I have a decent job as a mechanic , but I'm also a mechanic in the Army. I'm burned out on mechanics.... I just moved into my own apartment, and loneliness is something i deal with every day. I like going out but who wants to go out alone? I have some friends here in Tucson, people I went to school with, but they are to busy or some I don't want to see. Going back to College would suit me, but not sure what degree to go after, I went to ITT tech for computer networking , I went to the Police academy and tried out, missed it by 2 questions... just got to try again, I have allot going for me. I'm just not happy were I'm right now, I want more out of life. I miss leading my Soldiers, and miss the active military. I miss my brother allot and still can't believe he is gone. Writing my thoughts down kind of helps, but I always have the sting inside of me that wants more. A girlfriend who is there for me, single sucks..
So one day at a time, thats all we can live life as. And my days are long.. my head full of stress and concerns. bla.