innocentmind

I realize I wasn't even bothered by the guy-instantly-liking-me situation this time. Weird. I guess it has more to do with whether I like a guy enough back, which is rarely the case and can be elusive for years. I forget what it feels like after a while, yet I never lose my optimism all the same.

This weekend's going to be insane. Hope I don't get overloaded around the masses and within my smaller group of friends. At least the rides will provide breaks from hearing multiple conversations at once all around me. For the same reason, I do better at clubs than at bars; at least the music is loud enough so that I only have to pay attention to...
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Linked here is the paper I wrote in response to the movie When a Man Loves a Woman. At the end, I describe my family functioning while growing up based on certain roles that nuclear family members take on. It's a bit exaggerated and melodramatic, but I had to do that in order to have enough content. I didn't flat out fabricate anything, though,...
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The new guy I met scored a 30 on the Aspie quiz. (For some reason, the link code isn't working for this address: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/1982215450153908026/Asperger's-Syndrome) Yay. He asked if that was bad, and I said "I much prefer it over a 20 or lower. People too different from me in that respect don't sit well with me." I have an intuitive sense of that spectrum, I...
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My "skinny pigs" (what they call hairless guinea pigs) either have me trained or are trained by me. They make noises on 2 occasions: When I first get up each day and come downstairs, and when they hear a crinkling sound like that made from rustling plastic bags or cellophane. They've associated these occasions with getting fresh lettuce and other vegetables, which they eat immediately...
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Scratch that; I don't think I"ll get romantically bored after all. I think taking a small amount of l-tyrosine fortnightly really defeats that boredom feeling by keeping dopamine levels buoyed. Funny how I can enoy the little things more when I'm working in some manner, but I can't be dependent on that and dating to feel motivated to do anything at all. No anhedonia for...
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I've fallen off the dating boat over the course of this term. Guess I got tired of being around strangers at school with this heavier schedule, so I've been using any non-class time exclusively as either alone time or congregations with already very familiar friends. For the past few weeks, the thought of dating has been completely absent from my mind.

Maybe I should get...
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Karaoke was fun tonight. I sang 3 songs:

What You Waiting For by Gwen Stefani
Stupid Girl by Garbage
True Faith by New Order

Skot said the singing lessons paid off and asked how dare I swoop by his club night and steal away the show by rocking the house. And that I sang True Faith better than he does. I had no idea he...
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I'm completely done with both take-home finals and can relax. I've been thinking about new tattoo design ideas. Right now, I'm considering a winged fossil across my belly in a somewhat diagonal arrangement. I really like this one, but with the head going forward instead of twisting back. I find these fossils so beautiful, and they also reflect my favoring evolution over creationism. (A...
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Now that I've received my second of two take-home final instructions, I'm looking forward to tackling them and, even more so, getting them done, which means the end of this term's coursework. I'm just glad this was a warp speed mini-term of 8 weeks of crap rather than a dragged out one. But, before I tackle these, I need to recover my full energy. (It...
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Wow, I was full of bile yesterday.

But not today, and I feel better physically in terms of less overstimulation. These two factors seem to covary. Huh. So if I'm talking shit about people, you can guess my circuits are most likely fried.

The same thing happens when I drink alcohol, which leads to an adrenaline surge. It's one reason I don't drink.

Ugh, craving male attention. Each piece of it has a shelf life of about 5 days, and then I want another. I wonder why I start getting very distracted from my work and then realize that's what it is.

And just platonic male friends don't count. Only ones who are potentially interesting to me satisfy.

I wish I could be free of this instinct.