inlikeflynn

Surprise? I have intimacy issues and/or a fear of commitment.

"I'm in no hurry. I'm not really worried."
"You know the old saying. A watched pot never boils."
"Yeah, but neither does an empty pot. You have to fill the pot before you can heat it and leave it to boil."
"Good point."
"... and then you have to have tea ready, and you have to invite people over, and OH GOD WHAT IF THEY DON'T LIKE THE WAY I'VE DECORATED?"

***

the Morgan Stanley Guy freaks me out. Who the hell invites him anywhere? He gets up in everyone's face, posing as other people's trusted family members, all "I remember back when Rachel used to pretend the cardboard box in the backyard was a rocketship, and she was the first woman to walk on the moon. Then later, when she would dress up in her mom's fancy clothes and model in front of the mirror in her room when she thought no one was looking. And who can forget the way she looked like a perfect, beautiful angel when she slept, BOY I SURE CAN'T. And now she's getting married and I get to give her away at the altar. I'm so proud of her."

and some poor dupe shakes his hand and congratulates him on his daughter's special day, at which point Rachel steps in and says "he's not my real Dad, no duh! He's our Morgan Stanley guy!" like it's PERFECTLY NATURAL TO INVITE YOUR FAMILY'S INVESTMENT BANKER TO A SOCIAL FUNCTION TO POSE AS YOUR FATHER.



those commercials give me the heebie jeebies.