I've been thinking a lot about who I am as a person. I feel like I'm strong, audacious, outgoing, energetic, and a survivor.
I've lived by the phrase “Game Up!” for a long time now.
Game up means "quit your bitching and do it!" Yeah it can come off as an asshole but it has a much deeper meaning. Like my back tattoo, why the fuck shouldn't we try new things, get way the fuck out of our self-damaging comfort-zone and just live! I tell people to game up all aspects of their life, I really do want people to experience the world the way I do, and yes it may b a personality trait, but that's why I would be there with them side by side together having an awesome adventure! My sole responsibility is to see their red-flags, read their body language, and monitor their experience to ensure they do not get into a panic zone and return deeper into their comfort-zone. People don't realize that that is what I am actually doing when I am full-body deep in gaming up. They just see it as me being an asshole telling them to game up when they don't realize it is solely for them with my ever-watching eyes upon the entirety of the situation. So all the introverts I know who get pissed off because I'm exploring life and "moving on from them" quit being jealous(yes deep down it is jealousy as to why you can't achieve the same awesomeness level that I push out effortlessly daily) and bitching about how life is so easy for me. I've been through hell multiple times over to get to the point where I am now. Like I said, I know their pain, but they have to make the conscious decision to move past it; then and ONLY THEN can we start experiencing the world. So when I invite you out to an adventure, even just outside (I LOVE being outside!) and lecture you how to game up it's because everyone else is walking on egg-shells and pussy-footing around saying things that can upset you so you are STILL IN THE BUBBLE! Real friends are honest and blunt and no one is used to direct communication which they feel is an attack on their whole person.
This attitude makes me not comprehend why someone can't game up. I love public speaking which people fear. I can talk to women no problem. I generally handle myself well alone. I feel like i've survived enough shit that this is who I am as a person.
This really was an introduction to my main point: Drinking and drugs.
I'm sober over 5 years. It was a phase I grew out of. Now in college everyone does that stupid shit that I did when I was seventeen. “taco tuesday” “wine wednesday” “thirsty thursday” WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT?! Do you REALLY need to drink so bad? WHY IN FUCKING GOD'S NAME DO YOU NEED TO DRINK TO SOCIALIZE?! Can you not handle shit sober? Are you too scared sober? Are you shy sober? Is being able to drink now you're at college just the tightest shit ever?! NO FUCK YOU! All kids do here is drink after shit gets done. What the fucking hell makes it so aluring? I dont fucking get it. GAME THE FUCK UP WITHOUT NEEDING BOOZE AND DRUGS! Is it really that hard? Apparently it fucking is! College is an utter shitshow of a town and life point. I've never viewed it as anything more than a transition to master's school and a career. I sit and home an play video games instead of drinking and doing drugs, fuck me, right? College kids and this whole fucking town can go fuck themselves Anyone who knows me in the slightest knows about my feelings of sobriety and if you invite me out to drink I immediately assume you are a WEAK FUCKING PERSON! Learn to live sober instead of having to relax with booze and drugs, learn to socialize sober, learn to NOT DEPEND ON A FUCKING SUBSTANCE! Seriously anyone who prove the “usefulness” and “benefit” of drinking and drugs is a fucking idiot and can go fuck themselves.
I'm so fucking done with this fucking bullshit.