its odd but i actually feel old. i didnt think 27 was anything special, but i caught myself thinking that im now in my late 20s. got under my skin a little. with my new job on the upper east side, ive been walking back and forth. its a little over a mile from my apartment, and takes me maybe 20 minutes. ive also caught myself looking at women and thinking, 'shes cute, but looks older. wait though, you arent exactly young anymore.' its really fuckin weird, and i wish it wasnt happening.
im drunk. getting to the point where i want to drink all the time. thats a bad sign for me. a very bad sign actually. not sure if ive ever mentioned it before, but i come from a long line of alcoholics. i had some issues with drinking my junior year of college, so i know warning signs when i see them. this is one of them. time to go dry for a while.
i tried eating a salad the other night. couldnt force more than a few bites down my throat. think ill continue to get my salad via spinach blended to a liquid in the shakes i drink. still eating better than i have in a long time, though that might not be saying much.
listening to a lot of songs that make me lonely. not cool. seven years since i was in something even remotely serious. four years since ive had regular sex. kinda depressing when i think about it. its a shame too, because i find new york to be terribly romantic at christmas time. how long until one seriously considers that he might be one of those that simply isnt meant to be with anyone? im having those kinds of thoughts.
speaking of, even more convinced of how much good that anti-depression medication does me. cant wait until my probationary period is up and i have insurance again. im a completely different person when im on it. the bad parts of my personality are muted, the constant thoughts about age and death fade quite a bit, and i become more outgoing.
thats all. kinda drunk and playing wow (which sounds pathetic on a friday night). looking forward to seeing the new harry potter movie and the next wow expansion in early december.
night.
im drunk. getting to the point where i want to drink all the time. thats a bad sign for me. a very bad sign actually. not sure if ive ever mentioned it before, but i come from a long line of alcoholics. i had some issues with drinking my junior year of college, so i know warning signs when i see them. this is one of them. time to go dry for a while.
i tried eating a salad the other night. couldnt force more than a few bites down my throat. think ill continue to get my salad via spinach blended to a liquid in the shakes i drink. still eating better than i have in a long time, though that might not be saying much.
listening to a lot of songs that make me lonely. not cool. seven years since i was in something even remotely serious. four years since ive had regular sex. kinda depressing when i think about it. its a shame too, because i find new york to be terribly romantic at christmas time. how long until one seriously considers that he might be one of those that simply isnt meant to be with anyone? im having those kinds of thoughts.
speaking of, even more convinced of how much good that anti-depression medication does me. cant wait until my probationary period is up and i have insurance again. im a completely different person when im on it. the bad parts of my personality are muted, the constant thoughts about age and death fade quite a bit, and i become more outgoing.
thats all. kinda drunk and playing wow (which sounds pathetic on a friday night). looking forward to seeing the new harry potter movie and the next wow expansion in early december.
night.
squee:
Thank you very much!