60 hour weeks at the office are no fun. at all. especially when the medication im for my stomach (happens to be an anti-depressant to boot) makes sleep choppy.
in all honesty, i thought it was crap when i was first given an anti depressant for what i was told was a case of ibs. however, i was considering counseling at the same time for my moods. for the longest time ive struggled with anger and whats probably always been bouts of depression. there were times since i started having stomach issues back in september where i thought i couldnt take what was happening to me. id cry on a whim, and have really bad mental images of myself. i was still going to physical therapy for my shoulder at the time, and i told my physical therapist (a woman i trusted and confided in way more than is probably the norm) that i just couldnt handle what was going on.
im not sure i ever seriously considered suicide, since ive always viewed it as giving up. a little faith-based background in the spoiler.
in all honesty, i thought it was crap when i was first given an anti depressant for what i was told was a case of ibs. however, i was considering counseling at the same time for my moods. for the longest time ive struggled with anger and whats probably always been bouts of depression. there were times since i started having stomach issues back in september where i thought i couldnt take what was happening to me. id cry on a whim, and have really bad mental images of myself. i was still going to physical therapy for my shoulder at the time, and i told my physical therapist (a woman i trusted and confided in way more than is probably the norm) that i just couldnt handle what was going on.
im not sure i ever seriously considered suicide, since ive always viewed it as giving up. a little faith-based background in the spoiler.
not only has my digestion evened out, but so have my moods. no wild swings like i used to have, no towering columns of anger, or thoughts about stepping in front of an oncoming 4 train. still, tired and frustrated at work this week, more came out than it should have. ive always had a problem keeping my personal life and most honest thoughts from the person i should be at work. being tired, angry, frustrated is no excuse for being an ass to my coworkers.
anyway. kinda drunk and i think this is all over the place. gonna drink some more, watch a movie, and try and sleep. things arent exactly as id wish them to be, but when i think about it, things are actually pretty good.
night.