im feeling better, but i cant seem to turn things around at work. no matter what i do. i cant remember the last time i had a good meeting. i know its me. lessons just arent sinking in. im ready to quit just to get a fresh start somewhere else, but the idea of being even temporarily unemployed scares the hell out of me. and i hate the idea of leaving because i fucked up. it scares me that i cant make things better. i worry that i mentally just cant do the type of work i always thought id end up doing. its like my brain is a sponge that doesnt want to absorb anymore.
