infra

I should really learn to withdraw from things once I feel my medical conditions flaring up. From writing and the boards, at least. I end up getting lightheaded, scatterbrained, wordy and a bit manic... along with hardly eating for days, being completely unaware of how much time is passing, sleeping in irregular patterns, etc. I should have realized that it was getting bad when I slept for sixteen hours and missed my appointment at the hospital.

Instead, I go on writing and produce things like that damn "cyberquatting" article and compulsively defend my errors instead of simply admitting to the mistakes.

It's not my normal self. Really, it's not.

If this plays true to form it will get worse for a couple days, then finally burn itself out after a couple days, or weeks. Or months. During which I'll hardly be able to leave the apartment.

This is why I don't date. I know that it's unfair to those people who want to be involved in my life, but I tend to see it as a fair price to pay. The pain I see on my lovers' faces when they see me going through this is unbearable.

DID is a bitch when it's flexing its muscles.

At least it's starting to wind itself down. Here's hoping that this isn't a false alarm, and that I'll be back to my normal self in no time.

[fingers crossed]