okay. today i'm going to talk about some dumb stuff... in hopes that afterwards, i will feel purged of a residual sense of self-doubt that has been gaining ground on me in the last month or so.
tomorrow i have to do a giant tattoo, that i am not prepared for. i have a small, rough, and ultimately inadmissable sketch and a head full of scattered ideas, and i am supposed to be filling up an entire leg with something rad, original and interesting. this is not good. and unfortunately, this situation has become all too familiar to me lately.
let's rewind.... this past year has been a huge one for me. the personal and professional growth i've had in the last year well surpass the previous three combined. which is great in many ways... i don't feel completely inadequate at all times anymore, and i have busy appointment schedule full of fun stuff and great people. i love what i do and i wouldn't trade it for the world. but i have to honest here.... i'm not an artist. i simply am not interested in "art "or creating it for any purpose other than for tattooing, which in my eyes is more of a craft than anything else. i love tattooing because i don't have to be the brains of the operation. i can make suggestions and put a spin on a few things, but for the most part i am just a vehicle for someone's more grandiose ideas to be filtered, simplified and eventually grown to fruition. i like it that way... that's where the best stuff comes from.
however, there seems to be an ever increasing demand for my time lately... not only in quantity, but more demanding projects on more demanding people. as a result, i find myself in situations like the one i'm in now a lot more often, and frankly it stresses me the fuck out and i'm not sure it's worth it. the main problem i think, is that i absolutely refuse to rely on the same tricks from one tattoo to another, and i want everything i do to be better than the last. do you have any idea how hard that is? especially in a profession where it's become the norm to just do the same (easy) thing over and over and over again, yet somehow everybody flips their shit over you every time. i am only interested in being challenged and having fun. but as more of a tattooer, and not so much a tattoo "artist," i'm having a hard time finding that balance. i can't shake the feeling that i'm just not cut out for this... at least at the level i'd like to be familiarized with.
then again, maybe i'm just being stupid. there are some projects that are so much fun, and so unstressful that i wonder why i ever have trouble with anything.
i don't know. i'm already sick of writing this. it didn't really go as i planned. big surprise.
tomorrow i have to do a giant tattoo, that i am not prepared for. i have a small, rough, and ultimately inadmissable sketch and a head full of scattered ideas, and i am supposed to be filling up an entire leg with something rad, original and interesting. this is not good. and unfortunately, this situation has become all too familiar to me lately.
let's rewind.... this past year has been a huge one for me. the personal and professional growth i've had in the last year well surpass the previous three combined. which is great in many ways... i don't feel completely inadequate at all times anymore, and i have busy appointment schedule full of fun stuff and great people. i love what i do and i wouldn't trade it for the world. but i have to honest here.... i'm not an artist. i simply am not interested in "art "or creating it for any purpose other than for tattooing, which in my eyes is more of a craft than anything else. i love tattooing because i don't have to be the brains of the operation. i can make suggestions and put a spin on a few things, but for the most part i am just a vehicle for someone's more grandiose ideas to be filtered, simplified and eventually grown to fruition. i like it that way... that's where the best stuff comes from.
however, there seems to be an ever increasing demand for my time lately... not only in quantity, but more demanding projects on more demanding people. as a result, i find myself in situations like the one i'm in now a lot more often, and frankly it stresses me the fuck out and i'm not sure it's worth it. the main problem i think, is that i absolutely refuse to rely on the same tricks from one tattoo to another, and i want everything i do to be better than the last. do you have any idea how hard that is? especially in a profession where it's become the norm to just do the same (easy) thing over and over and over again, yet somehow everybody flips their shit over you every time. i am only interested in being challenged and having fun. but as more of a tattooer, and not so much a tattoo "artist," i'm having a hard time finding that balance. i can't shake the feeling that i'm just not cut out for this... at least at the level i'd like to be familiarized with.
then again, maybe i'm just being stupid. there are some projects that are so much fun, and so unstressful that i wonder why i ever have trouble with anything.
i don't know. i'm already sick of writing this. it didn't really go as i planned. big surprise.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
everyone knows that tattooers are babies, and you just proved it.
youre busy, right? making that loot, right?and now you want to hit a homerun at every at-bat?
dont be so unrealistic.
every day better than the last?c'mon. ive been using the same trix for ten years, and once in a great while, i even manage to do something not totally gay. do i stress? what would be the point.......
just do what you do, and let that shit happen naturally. i havent drawn in advance of an appointment in three years.......the magic will either happen or it wont, gandalf, so if it doesnt, its because your client sucks balls. thats the most important part, especially now that youve been tattooing a while.....if you can do good tattoos, but suddenly do one that isnt so dope, blame the canvas. fuck those dudes. its their fault.
(i havent lost my pep-talk skills, yet, though!)
hit them in the head,
i totally shit the bed on six in a row this weekend!!!!
dude, thats a whole inning, both teams straight down the shitter.
incredible!
big shoulda-been-doooooope stuff, too.
jesus, i really might wanna think about quitting.
definitely not career-makers. thats for shit-sure.
wow.
(although, for the record, i blame them.....)
yeah.
h.t.i.t.h.