in_decission

I tried to change today
Into who I was before
For that fleeting fraction of a second
I was someone else
Who I wanted to be
What I saw in my dreams
Watched it tear at the seams
Then break loose.

Tried to do
Everything that I did
What came without effort
Ran off and hid
In some cursed crevice
Beyond my reach.

I'm still here grasping
For wishes I couldn't keep.

I can't force this together
Or lure myself back
If I could fragment forever...
But no,
black is black.

What I want
Seems so interesting, but
Maybe I must want nothing
Yes,
I think what I'm seeking is nothing,

Oh so naturally.


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in other news i took a pill to fall asleep at 8:30 this morning, i hope it takes hold soon as my body can only struggle to keep up with my mind so long.


Random swimmings:

women are okay
until you get to know who they are
with men it'd be the same
if it ever got that far

how desolate of me.