"...and I think to myself, what a wonderful world."
It's morning for me at 10:35p on a Sunday night.
I was woken up by my sometimes insane father flicking the light on, poking my leg and saying "DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?!?!?"
NO! SLEEPING PEOPLE DON'T WANT HAMBURGERS!!!
Maybe that's just how he checks if I'm still alive when I've been in bed all day, Of course I woulda just listened for my breathing, i dunno....
So now I am awake and out of bed for the pretty much the first time all weekend. I've been sick in a horrid sort of way, with the worst headaches of my life, and a burning fever on top of that. But aside from my physical state, I am in one of the best moods I've been in while alone for a long time.
I came to the realization that while I've been busy being depressed and mopey and all that other good shit for the past couple months, I've been totally taking everything I have for granted: A whole basement to myself with little to no rent. Parents who realize we put up with just as much of each other's shit both ways and know how to let the stupid shit go....usually. The ability to sleep virtually any time and for any length I want. Having enough family members with enough work to keep me busy and well-funded at pretty much anytime. And then there's music, making it, listening to it, hearing how it effects people, yeah music's great, we all know that. There's much more, but I think those are things best saved for another time, but still! that's a lot of shit to take for granted!
At the same time I should remind myself that this is still not where I want to be in life, here in my parent's basement, but then again, I don't have a clue where I want to be or what I want to be doing in the whole terms of the rest of my life sense, all I know is I can handle this for an indeterminate amount of months more, at the most, which isn't knowing much I guess.
I keep reminding myself that even though this seems like forever, I'm just caught up in the middle of it right now. Things are progressing slow as erosion, where my patience is what's being weathered.
I guess in the meantime I can go have one of those hamburgers...
It's morning for me at 10:35p on a Sunday night.
I was woken up by my sometimes insane father flicking the light on, poking my leg and saying "DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?!?!?"
NO! SLEEPING PEOPLE DON'T WANT HAMBURGERS!!!
Maybe that's just how he checks if I'm still alive when I've been in bed all day, Of course I woulda just listened for my breathing, i dunno....
So now I am awake and out of bed for the pretty much the first time all weekend. I've been sick in a horrid sort of way, with the worst headaches of my life, and a burning fever on top of that. But aside from my physical state, I am in one of the best moods I've been in while alone for a long time.
I came to the realization that while I've been busy being depressed and mopey and all that other good shit for the past couple months, I've been totally taking everything I have for granted: A whole basement to myself with little to no rent. Parents who realize we put up with just as much of each other's shit both ways and know how to let the stupid shit go....usually. The ability to sleep virtually any time and for any length I want. Having enough family members with enough work to keep me busy and well-funded at pretty much anytime. And then there's music, making it, listening to it, hearing how it effects people, yeah music's great, we all know that. There's much more, but I think those are things best saved for another time, but still! that's a lot of shit to take for granted!
At the same time I should remind myself that this is still not where I want to be in life, here in my parent's basement, but then again, I don't have a clue where I want to be or what I want to be doing in the whole terms of the rest of my life sense, all I know is I can handle this for an indeterminate amount of months more, at the most, which isn't knowing much I guess.
I keep reminding myself that even though this seems like forever, I'm just caught up in the middle of it right now. Things are progressing slow as erosion, where my patience is what's being weathered.
I guess in the meantime I can go have one of those hamburgers...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
sometimes, ive found, you can't help but be in limbo sometimes. it's these strange transitionary stages that can be both terrifying and peaceful. but if you're anything like me, you become completely overcome with the sensation that you're out of control of your life. don't let it get to you - change will come.... it's the calm before the storm.
I've moved in with the folks for the next month or 2, I've only been here for about 3 weeks now....hopefully I'll be getting lost soon... but I've never felt so helpless in my life.
stick it though, and remember to appreciate and enjoy everything. that's what it's all about.
SG-MKE.... soon!
beatnik: up up and away!
feel better dear!