"Something had to change, undeniable dilemma..."
I don't think it's very good to impulsively reply to a concerned parent "Be quiet, before I stab you with the fork"
The fork in question would be much better suited to eating my dehydrated noodles. I have a kid now, I can't just go around threatening to stab people, especially my dad, one half of the living unit that is my parents, the people who let me sit around and be depressed in their basement for little to no monetary fee whatsoever. Jesus, I want to fucking be a little less impulsive, this always happens to me when I get depressed, but not usually so outwardly projected...I don't want to take meds either, but I don't want to go on like this. Damn, that's a lot of I don'ts...hopefully this is all just part of some process for the better...my mind's turned to sludge over the past few years, i haven't read, created anything of any real significance to me, (my son aside, of course)
It reminds me of that horrendously repetitive song "i'm half the man I used to be, half the man, blah blah" It's like that, and just as horrendously repetitive.
It makes me think about a goal of mine though, fixing up my head without having to take any medications or go to some bullshit counselor or psych-whateverist, I mean is someone fucked up in the head really capable of making judgments on what is good or bad, I mean there are times I can feel things getting better, more.....sorted....and I almost half-consciously choose to just let myself slide back. I wonder if it's the comfort of familiarity factor, or maybe this is just how I am.
No one ever said it would be simple, no one ever said anything as a matter of fact, just one day I was here, and that was that. When I think about the fact that the same holds true for all my 'elders' it's just so hard to take advice sometimes. What a fine mess this is.
Well, at least there's cheap dehydrated noodles...
I don't think it's very good to impulsively reply to a concerned parent "Be quiet, before I stab you with the fork"
The fork in question would be much better suited to eating my dehydrated noodles. I have a kid now, I can't just go around threatening to stab people, especially my dad, one half of the living unit that is my parents, the people who let me sit around and be depressed in their basement for little to no monetary fee whatsoever. Jesus, I want to fucking be a little less impulsive, this always happens to me when I get depressed, but not usually so outwardly projected...I don't want to take meds either, but I don't want to go on like this. Damn, that's a lot of I don'ts...hopefully this is all just part of some process for the better...my mind's turned to sludge over the past few years, i haven't read, created anything of any real significance to me, (my son aside, of course)
It reminds me of that horrendously repetitive song "i'm half the man I used to be, half the man, blah blah" It's like that, and just as horrendously repetitive.
It makes me think about a goal of mine though, fixing up my head without having to take any medications or go to some bullshit counselor or psych-whateverist, I mean is someone fucked up in the head really capable of making judgments on what is good or bad, I mean there are times I can feel things getting better, more.....sorted....and I almost half-consciously choose to just let myself slide back. I wonder if it's the comfort of familiarity factor, or maybe this is just how I am.
No one ever said it would be simple, no one ever said anything as a matter of fact, just one day I was here, and that was that. When I think about the fact that the same holds true for all my 'elders' it's just so hard to take advice sometimes. What a fine mess this is.
Well, at least there's cheap dehydrated noodles...