It's time for some more TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT
I've decided to keep these in the Phoenix area this time
(701):
Want any specific kind of beer?
(623):
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
(701):
Got it. Anything but Miller.
(623):
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
(623):
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
(623):
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
(623):
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
(this one is my favorite! bahahahahaha)
(623):
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
(623):
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
(623):
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
(602):
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
(480):
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
(602):
so its at least an 8 for creativity.
(773):
Just got to costco. Where are you?
(602):
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
(602):
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
(602):
I am full of burrito and curiosity
(second favorite!)
(602):
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
bahahahahahahahaha awesome
(602):
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
(602):
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
haha! poor kid
(480):
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
(480):
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
(480):
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
(480):
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
(480):
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
(480):
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ouch!
WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Oh, and for those who came for bewbs and nothing more:
I've decided to keep these in the Phoenix area this time
(701):
Want any specific kind of beer?
(623):
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
(701):
Got it. Anything but Miller.
(623):
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
(623):
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
(623):
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
(623):
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
(this one is my favorite! bahahahahaha)
(623):
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
(623):
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
(623):
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
(602):
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
(480):
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
(602):
so its at least an 8 for creativity.
(773):
Just got to costco. Where are you?
(602):
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
(602):
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
(602):
I am full of burrito and curiosity
(second favorite!)
(602):
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
bahahahahahahahaha awesome
(602):
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
(602):
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
haha! poor kid
(480):
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
(480):
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
(480):
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
(480):
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
(480):
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
(480):
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ouch!
WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE?
Oh, and for those who came for bewbs and nothing more:
fin
VIEW 25 of 35 COMMENTS
haha! poor kid
That was was pretty effin hilarious!