Part Five
We crossed to the dance floor, and while doing this, I had to smile and introduce Emily to half a dozen classmates. The pressure of performing this normally simple task while trying to act normal with all of these people nearly had me leaping out a window. The slow Bad Company song gave way to a fast-paced Ted Nugent song (I told you it was a 70's themed prom). Emily and I both quickly determined that coherent dancing to music at this speed was completely beyond us. I flailed my arms, she staggered in her clogs, and we beat a hasty retreat. "You wanna go outside and have a cigarette?" she asked.
"Uh...definitely." What a funny word, definitely, I thought. So many syllables, and how was it spelled again? Was there an 'a' in there somewhere, or was it only a couple of 'i's and an 'e'? I shook my head, trying to clear it. Ouch, big mistake...
"Come on!" Emily said, grabbing my arm and pulling. Fighting the disorientation, I closed my eyes and tried to follow her, but ended up tripping over two metal chairs in the process. A nauseating eternity later, and we made it to the ballroom exit. I saw Dave, my English teacher, still hanging out by the door. I motioned for Emily to go on without me, and stopped to talk with Dave.
The thing about Dave was that he was cool. Or, to be more precise, he would often smoke pot and hang out with his honors English students, of which I was one. He was a true mentor, guide, and guardian. Dave was my only hope of getting through this prom with my sanity and relationship intact.
"Mr. N.," I began. "You've gotta help me tonight I smoked pot which got me high then I did some acid which made the whole room go weird then I ate some mushrooms which seem to be making me sick but never mind that because now I'm in love with my girlfriend's roommate and she's so hot but Sarah is hot too and she might be really mad and I don't know what to do and I don't think I'm ever going to be normal again and I think I might have brain damage so I think I'd better call my Mom and maybe even my Dad because I should say goodbye to them don't you think what do I do huh is there a phone around here I might need you to dial for me or something you've gotta help me please..."
Dave didn't look happy. "I can't even believe you're talking to me about this in public, man. Don't you know how much trouble I could get in?" I began apologizing profusely, and Dave grabbed my arm and walked me out into the parking lot.
"I'm going to speak very slowly," he said. "You've got to come down. It could take a while. Now here, take this bottle of water. Drink it slowly. When it runs out, send one of your friends back in and I'll give her some more for you. But whatever you do, don't come back in here, and don't go home until you're straight, okay?"
"Thank you, Mr. N., thank you," I said as we walked over to Emily, who was sitting on the hood of Sarah's car, smoking. I kept repeating 'thank you' over and over like a broken record until Dave turned and walked back, shaking his head. A couple weeks later, when I asked him to sign my yearbook, he wrote "Good luck on your many adventures in life, and remember to always bring lots of water."
We crossed to the dance floor, and while doing this, I had to smile and introduce Emily to half a dozen classmates. The pressure of performing this normally simple task while trying to act normal with all of these people nearly had me leaping out a window. The slow Bad Company song gave way to a fast-paced Ted Nugent song (I told you it was a 70's themed prom). Emily and I both quickly determined that coherent dancing to music at this speed was completely beyond us. I flailed my arms, she staggered in her clogs, and we beat a hasty retreat. "You wanna go outside and have a cigarette?" she asked.
"Uh...definitely." What a funny word, definitely, I thought. So many syllables, and how was it spelled again? Was there an 'a' in there somewhere, or was it only a couple of 'i's and an 'e'? I shook my head, trying to clear it. Ouch, big mistake...
"Come on!" Emily said, grabbing my arm and pulling. Fighting the disorientation, I closed my eyes and tried to follow her, but ended up tripping over two metal chairs in the process. A nauseating eternity later, and we made it to the ballroom exit. I saw Dave, my English teacher, still hanging out by the door. I motioned for Emily to go on without me, and stopped to talk with Dave.
The thing about Dave was that he was cool. Or, to be more precise, he would often smoke pot and hang out with his honors English students, of which I was one. He was a true mentor, guide, and guardian. Dave was my only hope of getting through this prom with my sanity and relationship intact.
"Mr. N.," I began. "You've gotta help me tonight I smoked pot which got me high then I did some acid which made the whole room go weird then I ate some mushrooms which seem to be making me sick but never mind that because now I'm in love with my girlfriend's roommate and she's so hot but Sarah is hot too and she might be really mad and I don't know what to do and I don't think I'm ever going to be normal again and I think I might have brain damage so I think I'd better call my Mom and maybe even my Dad because I should say goodbye to them don't you think what do I do huh is there a phone around here I might need you to dial for me or something you've gotta help me please..."
Dave didn't look happy. "I can't even believe you're talking to me about this in public, man. Don't you know how much trouble I could get in?" I began apologizing profusely, and Dave grabbed my arm and walked me out into the parking lot.
"I'm going to speak very slowly," he said. "You've got to come down. It could take a while. Now here, take this bottle of water. Drink it slowly. When it runs out, send one of your friends back in and I'll give her some more for you. But whatever you do, don't come back in here, and don't go home until you're straight, okay?"
"Thank you, Mr. N., thank you," I said as we walked over to Emily, who was sitting on the hood of Sarah's car, smoking. I kept repeating 'thank you' over and over like a broken record until Dave turned and walked back, shaking his head. A couple weeks later, when I asked him to sign my yearbook, he wrote "Good luck on your many adventures in life, and remember to always bring lots of water."