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imporeo

Parramatta, Sydney

Member Since 2014

Followers 104 Following 906

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Pariah

Aug 8, 2020
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How has everyone been? I hope you are doing well.

Things are going alright for me right now although it could change at any time since it seems the company I work for might be having money issues (we went from 60 to less then 30 staff in 3 weeks and for various reasons including some people just some how finding another job). My finances have never been tight because I am pretty cautious with what little I have but I don't have the luxury of beauty or a piece of paper to easily get another job.

Then there is my flatmate. He has been with his girlfriend for a year and a half and they have been trying to buy a house (she is from a somewhat well off family and he has inheritance and just finished an apprenticeship so plenty of money on his end even with the spending he does - although not as much because a lot of the household resources are actually bought by me while he buys high end clothing and video games). Either way that means I will need to find a new place (Where I live is an over-priced dump and the cable for the internet is cut somewhere and the cable company that owns them won't replace them so I have to use mobile data) in a rather small amount of time and ideally closer to my work which means it will also be pricier.

Most people have plenty of friends to fall back on for house mates or any number of things but I have always been a pariah even among the few people who tolerate my company because there is some benefit for them. There's no chance I will find someone suitable to live with that I can actually trust to pay bills, keep the house clean and just not be an asshole in general. And no my parents isn't an option as they don't really have room and unlike most peoples parents where the child lives rent free and all that, i would be expected to pay an equal portion (even though my brother doesn't because he doesn't work and my mother won't force him to work like she did me).

As for love? It's not worth the effort or cost. I'm an ugly white male in a society that wants me dead because it represents everything Australia is against which is ugliness. That combined with the fact I'm not a stereotypical and therefore predictable male which you can easily guess his desires and therefore fall in love with them because you know what they want and it requires little effort. What I have to offer are the kind of things you can't throw out there in the start of a relationship without scaring away your date because it is not at the front of their minds. They want the now, the beautiful, the wealthy and the muscular rather than tomorrow (unless you count that at the back of people's minds they want a beautiful baby who will never have to work hard for a living when they grow up or as I like to call it the Kim Kardashian dream)

At least with a job I can make some fun purchases again like buying some face masks that aren't generic (although taking longer to arrive then I would like) and some new board games to play with the few people I know.

Also if you have some fantasy novel recommendations, I am all ears since really I am only re-reading stuff at this point, and while that is good, I do like to sample the occasional new thing.

oldernow:
Good luck with the flat mate thing... i have always found that distance+cheapness+audiobooks beats proximity and roommates--but then i was a long distance runner.  / have you read Daughter of Smoke and Bone series? it is quite different.  How about The New Sun series--I think it starts with Shadow of the Autarch - a series from the viewpoint of a professional executioner - not an assassin, but the guy in the hood... actually very surreal - Gene Wolfe kind of the Lou Reed of SF (everyone who loves him writes books that most everyone knows). finally there's the incomplete series Fire Logic, Earth Logic--written by a lesbian--some very good mostly sword with a lil sorcery and proper adult relationships (fighting over who cooks, not artful fuck scenes)...
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