Just something I have always experienced. I don't really connect with anyone because I am too different (although mostly just too ugly). I'm not the stereotypical male getting wasted every opportunity and has been doing so since around the age of 16 (lets face it; Australians are pretty much all about drinking on the weekend or just whenever). I don't support a sporting team and buy $1000's of their paraphernalia (more if you support multiple sports and therefore multiple teams) over the course of my lifetime. I didn't take up learning about every car ever or learn how to build a computer from scratch and live a life on 6 figures a year sitting at a computer asking google to solve peoples computer woes.
So I went to this show on Friday night called Neko Nation
I was most likely the oldest person there although not entirely surprising since the bar it was held in was in the middle of a Uni campus. That said I feel that even the social group I associate myself with most I don't really connect. They are just as horny and shallow as everyone else. The only difference is what they talk discuss. It didn't help that pretty much everyone else either knew someone or that someone knew someone or at least that was the vibe I was getting.
That aside it was a good night of music and dancing. in fact my feet hurt a lot when i got home and thankfully they were better when I woke up later the same next morning.
Where did I go wrong in life.
While everyone else had someone to look up to who did I have? A, for all intents and purposes, no existent father who's only advice in life to me was to blackmail some local council member to get me a job in local council despite not having any real proof of said blackmail on me. Or maybe my mother who felt that not interacting with other parents at that point in life was a good idea for my social well being or that my romantic problems as a child were of great amusement or that if either of my siblings got punished then i should also be punished. Or maybe my step mother who was always angry over the stupidest things at the drop of a hat to the point of violence.
I raised me and what I made of me is some distorted excuse of a human fumbling through life with no purpose except to spite the rest of humanity who would love to see some worthless ugly human being neck himself just so their planet can be slightly prettier.
Its why I use fear and anger to keep others away because there is no other way. Being nice just encourages them to walk all over me because thats what you do with ugly people; you treat them like shit. I secretly relish other people's deaths because it is one less vermin on this dirtball. Humanity's death could not come any faster and if I could I would do it without a second thought because I firmly believe humans are irredeemable and it's sickening how shallow, petty and pathetic society as a whole has become.
Life would be so much easier if I were just another sheep instead of this nightmarish hell spawn that has come from the bowels of hell. At least it wouldn't be so lonely even though it would still be a pathetic society that I was living in
