I can quite easily say that I am quite the social outcast. Most people can just say they like some stuff and people will be like OMG I like said stuff too and suddenly everyone is friends; me I don't like enough things for that sort of thing to work and also on account of being ugly people don't want to be associated with that kind of thing except maybe putting a bullet in my skull but only if they could get away with it.
Strictly speaking it is the combination of both. I think while most people as children were being raised normally, I was busy not being raised. Mother was distant unless it was to tell me not to do something whether that be alcohol (ironic considering she was a regular drinker from 14) or the internet to do assignments for school because we have some encyclopedias that are older then I am and Father who was even more distant mostly by not being home and quite possibly just banging other women and then making out he fell asleep on the train and ending up on the other side of nowhere. I basically raised me which is why I am so outlandish. Hell my parents went out of their way not to socialise with other parents.
For instance in Australia you have to like sport. doesn't matter which one although the more the better but at least Rugby League or cricket. then you also have to be able to spout of stats like its second nature and get into debates about who was the greatest and other such crap. Don't get me wrong I like watching it sometimes but supporting a team is not my thing. In fact having favourites isn't my thing either. Most if not all other people can spout what their favourite is of any given thing. Me; too indecisive. I don't have a favourite movie or band or restaurant or booze. I don't go for any particular brand when i do my shopping.
As a male it is also expected of me to be able to know every car by sight. honestly i don't give a shit about cars. they get you from point blah to point blah and back if need be or maybe to another blah or several but the point is who gives a fuck. It is literally a useless skill to everyone except spies and most of these people are too dumb for such a career.
Further to being an Australian one must LOVE the beach. its ok but I am in no way going out of my way for such a thing mostly because who am i going to go with anyway. Nobody and its not like i have a six pack ready to flash at women who are easily impressed. seriously why is tanned sexy? we don't think cooked meat is sexy and that is basically the same thing as getting a tan.
The thing is being a clone is so much easier then being an individual. people hate individualism and they are lying if they say they love it although incidently people enjoy lying. Lying in my opinion is a waste of time but much like having favourite things and supporting a team, lying is just part of being a person.
Hence why I depend on me and me alone especially when it comes to work because people just want to see me rot on the streets or burden me with more work because you can't horsewhip the lazy staff or fire them because they are immigrants and or women but perfectly ok to lynch the white guy especially since he is so ugly and poor (oh good looking white guys and rich guys get a free pass - or more likely several)
For me there is only rock bottom and nothing else. In fact I can probably get lower like rotting on the streets in a foreign country. People always say what a lucky country Australia is but the truth is that mostly applies to everyone else except me. It's a shallow country where looks matter or else ethnic but either way you are offal if you are neither and ugly white male; people literally wanting to throw up in their mouths but won't because they are in public and that would look ugly.
So over the years I have replaced optimism with fear and hatred because at least people won't try and treat you like shit if they fear you. Being nice gets you no where if you are hideous and tends to be an open invitation for people to treat you like garbage as they please. Fear and anger keep people a safe distance away and if need be can used to deal with the self absorbed jackasses that all too often stroll about on a busy footpath thinking it the king's way and they the king or perhaps the pathetic life form who thinks they have a throbbingly huge cock and need a seat and a half on the train so they can spread their legs
But most importantly it is pessimism that keeps me going and my ability to trust nobody.