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imporeo

Parramatta, Sydney

Member Since 2014

Followers 104 Following 906

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Rantpage #6: Trust or lack thereof

Sep 9, 2015
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Well mostly lack thereof. I have just become unable to trust anyone or anything for that matter no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

For example we have a mosquito problem in our house. Now our house is about 500 metres or more away from any substantial body of water and there are other houses before our apartment so why our house. more to the point why my room specifically? I don't even trust my own body and its not limited to mosquitos either but also other annoying winged insects. I see very few other people ever get harassed as much by flies as I do. and no bug spray doesn't work for me

In fact as a general rule of thumb I avoid most medicines you can get easily without a prescription as it never works or worse I end up with a variation of the problem so instead of one type of cough for example, i would end up with another type of cough. Its why zit creams and the like never worked and i have the hideous visage you see before you because i wasn't a nail biter as a child and zits itch like a bitch (oh and my parents were too poor to try something stronger - you know the ones with the nasty side effects). Its why I still have dandruff because unlike most people, head and shouslders doesn't work.

video games involving other humanoid opponents will always favour them simply because luck.

Then there are humans. because I am nothing but an ugly white male to most people I am basically a second rate citizen and beneath the notice of others. I am always the one to move out of people's way because they are to busy thumbing their nose at me on their high horse thinking I should be dead in the gutter with the rest of the homeless.

Because people insist on trying to get me into trouble with my bosses or get you into a conversation only to browbeat you into because they think only their opinion is correct or hinder your education because they feel you should do it the same way they did; with ancient encyclopedias that are older then you.

Because people aren't dependable.

I can't rely on anyone; not fully anyway. Humans are an untrustworthy bunch. I don't even trust me sometimes with my forgetfulness. It's all very well and good everyone is substantially more trusting than me but having plenty more friends and family that isn't overly difficult; not that i trust those sorts of people any more than I would an acquaintance

Trust is vulnerability and most people seem incapable of that so they waste time with lies and half truths all for the sake of something rather meaningless. Lying is a waste of time as far as I am concerned and spinning a web of lies leads to something to big for the web to hold crashing through it and leaving it in tatters. but sometimes its easier then playing out a discussion you don't really want to deal with like "How are you". it's easier to say fine and be done with it then to say depressed and end up playing a round of 50 questions.

I doubt I will ever fully trust someone again. people insist on treating me like a fool and so I will treat them abhorrently as best as i can manage whether its disdain or cruelty or just impolitely. people in general don't deserve anything more from me and the few who I can tolerate probably don't realise how fortunate they are.

I think the whole world right now is going through a phase of mistrust. Refugees pouring into every country they can without so much as a check to see if they should be let in because they could be a sleeper cell member waiting to cause havoc and even those who aren't are likely just going to milk the system for all its worth. various world leaders ramping up nuclear programs and in some cases arms. The lack of seriousness in politics (like seriously I think Kanye should be shot for even thinking about running for president and probably only said it to get his missus show more likes)and mistrust of politicians (or at least australian ones) in general because rather than sort real issues lets just screw around and perhaps give ourselves another undeserved pay rise and may whittle away at the rights of the lower class.

A simple 5 letter word which most people take for granted but which I have almost forgone entirely because I can't even trust the people who i should be trusting the most. Nobody is worth trusting all that much and it's only my use of fear and anger that have kept people from trying to take advantage of me. being nice and trusting never got me anywhere except being treated worse then a lap dog so now humans can either step out of my way or be crushed under foot.

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