imfrickincold

I Love Old People
Really, it should say 'I love crazy people' but the one I'm talking about today was more crazy because he was old, so I'll use the predominant feature to describe him. His name is Lee, and he is AWESOME.
I was at albertson's, like I am everyday, so that I can leave my house, and I was walking around, wasting time, talking to my mom in ak (who just had surgery and is doing well) and an old dude in a wheelchair shouts.. 'Hey! I remember you! I know you!' I was very confused, but he soon made it clear (as clear as it could have been) that he remembered my hair (I just bobbed it and dyed it pink) and asked me what my name was. I told him, and he laughed and said he couldn't pronounce that, so I told him just to call me pink haired girl. His eyes glazed over and he looked like he was going to sleep for a minute, then the fun started. Apparently it is Lee's birthday this month, because #1, he told me so, and #2, He had a giant button on his giant dayglo orange trucker hat that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE' in big letters.
He went on to regale (sp? regail? regaile? whatever, he told me the story) Of how he was in the army for three years up until 1944, a year and a half of which he spent in combat. He was injured and sent to an army hospital and then released from duty. He asked me if I could guess where he'd gotten injured, and this creeped me out, because I was expecting him to flash me the manly bits or something else that a scarey person would do, but then I remembered he was probably just an old man in a wheelchair who didn't have a whole lot of people to talk to. I told him that no, I couldn't guess where he got injured, and he let out a loud screechy laugh that made me wince, and said.. 'No one can ever guess the secret! I've got schrapnel in my skull, that's why I wear a hat! A ha ha ha ha ha ha...' So he's had metal chunks in his head for the past fifty years, which could also be a part of the whole 'crazy' thing he has goin on. ANYway, he had several jobs after the army, working in a bakery for 19$ a week, then doing something else for 40$ a week, and he made some half way funny joke about how he hadn't given notice to the bakery for a raise like that. I guess bananas will be on sale soon, so if you live in roseville, check em out at the albertson's nearest you, cuz Lee says they're great, and that when he buys them people are always asking him for some.
Lee's wheelchair is probably the one I will have when I am old. He said the joystick steering mechanism was dorky, so he sawed it off and jammed a baseball on it instead. He has logged 400 miles on him chair, and he lives about three miles from me. He also carries an empty container of bacon bits around in the side pocket. And he ate a turkey sandwich and told me it was beef.
Lee is the rockinest old man I've ever met. I told him I'd buy him lunch next time I saw him, but hopefully it's in the next couple days because I'm hoping to go to seattle before the end of next week. Oh, yeah, anyone in roseville want to drive me to the airport? I'll give you like.. 30$ or something.