I call it "win" not accomplishment, cause I didn't really put any efforts into achieving this. It was pure luck. I don't think I deserved that happiness, but my biggest dream came true - in 2019 I played a role in one of music videos of my favourite band.
All I did was writing one letter. There was an open casting in internet, a friend sent me a post and I wrote an e-mail to casting director and attached my photos. The next day I received positive answer. Thousands of girls, including experienced actresses, were sending their portfolios, I was not even expecting success, I just sent it for check, to not regret later that I never tried.
It took me so long to write about it here, cause every time I remember it, every time I dig through screenshots (people even made a gif with me but I can't find it), photos I have from the day of shooting, I go very emotional. Also I had a problem of people not believing me that this girl behind the glass in Rammstein "Radio" video is me, cause I was heavily make-uped for the shooting. But I hope I won't hear accusations in lies here, especially since I have a lot of selfies from backstage, also now I look almost like I did this day - just with less make-up and a bit shorter hair)
Make-up and dressing took a few hours. Those fake lashes... I still keep them in a small box, as a souvenir) I also had blue spots on my face this day - I had an accident a few days before the shooting, but, of course, I couldn't cancel... It's my favourite band after all and I won't have another chance to take part in what I dreamed to take part in since I was 12... Also it would have been hard for the casting director to find a suitable replacement in such a short time. Responsibility is our bread and butter!
The shooting was being planned for about a month or even more... January-February 2019. In about 2 weeks before the shooting I had to come to fitting - to choose the best outfit. I also have some selfies from there - it took place in a theatre in Berlin. Here I have the final suite on and also one other - do you remember the last few seconds of the video, where the girl is "transparent" and passes through the band? I was trying this costume on too, cause they were figuring out, which outfits are more suitable for which characters)
I'll tell you it was DAMN cold in this light suite in February in Berlin - my part was filmed outside! Also it was raining all the time and one of the assistants was holding and umbrella above me) Also look at the shoes I have - and there was ice outside) And in my scene I had to run to the shop window, showing excitement)
The girl who was topless on barricades is also russian - she is my good friend and she came to Berlin specially for the shooting and I was hosting her. We are the only 2 russian girls who acted in this videos. By the way, it was she who advised me to apply on this casting! Female mutual support is priceless! None of us could have done it alone!
And those photos were made by another actor - one of those who played the policemen
It will be truth if I will say - those memories are the most precious I have! I was a little fan girl since childhood but I was never OK with being JUST a fan, I wanted to be an artist who stands on the same stage with them. This dream made me get education. This dream led me to Berlin. This dream made me look like I look, get used to the camera, become open. Fight fears and complexes.
Between shooting and release of the video a few month passed. We had to keep everything in secret, of course) And in the release day the video was projected on the wall in the center of Berlin... Seeing myself on a big screen was... The most exciting experience I ever had. I was crying. Yes, may be it's not big, I am not playing in a Hollywood movie or so, but it is bigger for me, cause it is something from my favorite band, and yes, my role is not the only one and it is short, but it's a close-up and it is bright! Do you know how many times I was licking this glass while filming?))) The director said me - don't worry, we cleaned it for you:D
And here are some photos made in the evening after the shooting) I didn't want to remove the make-up)
This experience had very positive impact on my life. All my life before I was in sub-depression very often. After the "Radio" video my depressive symptoms reduced significantly, I became a much more cheerful person, and much more social. Never listen to those who say "public success doesn't matter", for some types of personalities it very much does! And I am one of those! So if it matter for you - go for it and don't listen to advisors telling you to have humble and quiet life! Taking part in something that will live after you die - and art never dies since it is published - is one of the things that people instinctively crave. It just takes courage to admit it.
I really needed to tell it here! For long. It just took time to focus, choose the right blog homework topic, dig up photos and write the post. Actually, I have an idea to shoot a set on motives of this video - cosplaying myself :D And one of my friends luckily has a room with a lot of old radio transistors in it - would be a perfect location! Would you like to see such a set?
@missy @rambo @penny @lemon
