Mechanism of love addiction is similar to all other addictions - dopamine works. Other addictions (on chemical substances) often follow, because people try to compensate, to find a substitute for the drug they can not get.
In teenage years there is more chance for a love addiction to be mutual, in mature years this chance is less because growing older, most people become more rational and prefer to switch to other drugs, which are easier to get. In love addiction you depend on what you can not buy for money - on another person.
In serious cases the addiction can be not only emotional, but physical too, with heavy withdrawal syndrome, which causes pain in different parts body and problems with breathing. Under long-term stress health conditions get worse and worse.
As well as it is with other addictions, the chance of full recovery is very low, but people can have long remissions. Though there is always a risk of getting back to the drug. There is a saying - “ex-addicts do not exist”.
People with personality disorders are very prone to addictions, including love addiction. Borderliners tend to be very dependent on partners and to build their lives around relationships.
Changing the partner usually does not solve the problem. Though there certainly are people who are more “addictive”, and those are not always the most attractive or good people - it depends more on their charisma and communicational skills. It is harder to give up on them.
People with a tendency to love addiction often become the victims of manipulations and abuse in relationships. They are easy targets. Rejection by society makes it worse. They are often said, that they choose toxic partners on purpose, that they want to suffer, that they have only themselves to blame. It is wrong.
If love addiction is mutual and both individuals are thoughtful and empathetic, relationships can be healthy and happy. And accepted by society. The only problem in such relationships is the withdrawal syndrome when one of the partners must go away for a while (a long business trip for example). If the other one can not follow, both are likely to suffer.
But if only one of the partners is love-addicted, the relationships have very little chance to be healthy or happy. Even if the "addictive" partner is not toxic on his own, the disbalance of power, that he has over the one who loves him, is hard to endure for both.
It is often said, that love addiction is the opposite of “great, true love”. It is absolutely wrong. Addiction does not exclude love. Love-addicts are not monsters. Stigmatization of such people and of such problems is a shame.
Love addicts are not always possessive. They are not always jealous. Not all of them tend to control their partners. The true thing is - they are very afraid of loss. They build their lives around relationships. They see break-up as the end of the world. But it does NOT always make them possessive and tyrannical. MOST of them are NOT.
As well as most drug-users are not criminals and most schizophrenics are not dangerous. All such people are very vulnerable and are much more often victims than violators. They are much more dangerous for themselves than for their partners or society.
Love addicts often really deeply care for their partners. They are often mindful. They can listen, understand and help. if they have high empathy, they are most likely not to be toxic in relationships. They always want more love, more time, more attention, but mostly they are ready to compromise. Often - to agree on conditions not comfortable for them. And even with their terrible fear of losing the beloved one, they are most likely to let partners go when those want to go.
Love addiction is not always egoistical and does not exclude self-sacrifice, compromise and letting go. But one more important thing - love addiction or any other addiction does not fully exclude self-care. The self-preservation instinct of such people can be lowered in certain situations, but in general, they have it.
Addiction does not define personality. Actions do. There are always many factors, which are unique and depend on personal qualities and on the situation. It is not all black or white. It’s wrong and sick to judge the feelings of other people and to label them.
