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illuminatus

Harrisburg

Member Since 2008

Followers 7 Following 17

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Monday Jul 12, 2010

Jul 12, 2010
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just turn the page and watch me grow


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I'm comin' up for air so I can
Check myself again and I stand
Proven to the man but sheltered
Confidence we tend to (shove in)
Unexpected hunger traps me
Just shut up and stand beside me
I don't need your understanding
I don't need to change a damn thing

And though I'm used to have you here
It does not change the man I was
When you found me and there was no one else around me
Just turn the page and watch me grow
There's so many things that you don't know about my soul
Live and die but this will not get old

Just when you think that you're down and out
Don't preconceive what I'm all about
Look for a reason that you have to start
Acting like a friend that you were not
And when you think that we played it out
We come from the bottom and knock it out
Look for a reason that you have to start
Acting like a friend but you were not, yeah

Nothing in between to fall through
I'm being myself, who are you?
You stand above and look down
You're just a plagiaristic clown
You suck the life out of me
You keep track of the payee
And when this wealth becomes dry
You'll shed a tear for another lie

And though I'm used to have you here
It does not change the man I was
When you found me and there was no one else around me
Just turn the page and watch me grow
There's so many things that you don't know about my soul
Live and die but this will not get old

Just when you think that you're down and out
Don't preconceive what I'm all about
Look for a reason that you have to start
Acting like a friend that you were not
And when you think that we played it out
We come from the bottom and knock it out
Look for a reason that you have to start
Acting like a friend but you were not, yeah

And though I'm used to have you here
It does not change the man I was
When you found me and there was no one else around me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh

Just when you think that you're down and out
Don't preconceive what I'm all about
Look for a reason that you have to start
Acting like a friend that you were not
And when you think that we played it out
We come from the bottom and knock it out
Look for a reason that you have to start
Acting like a friend but you were not, yeah





right now, at this very moment, i am what others would refer to as... insane. im in total overdrive, fueling my body with a never ending surge of adrenaline, powering my mind with, something. i cannot sit still, and feel as though my world is in fast forward. time is defying all known laws of physics, people are moving like a slow motion scene from an action movie. my pen cannot keep pace with my head. my music must be fast paced and brutal, so i can tolerate it, my speech is beyond all normal levels of comprehension. i have nitrous blasting through these veins inside of me. i cant explain it, but everything in real time is in bullet time, in pure focus. its my hindsight that is blurred. im moving so fast, i squeeze the should strap of my backpack to ensure it stays with me. and yet, here i sit with the biggest can of monster i could find. this is not anxiety, not drugs. this is sleep deprivation...

more to come...

completely unrelated...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

love is a funny emotion. a necessary feeling to keep us dreaming of a furthered reasoned for existence, yet it can be so painful sometimes. but when it functions... its the most amazing feeling ever. when it functions, it makes you feel ways you never felt in similar situations. when it works... its makes every bit of pain, every bit of struggle, every tear and every ounce of blood... worth it. and when it fails... every tear was still worth it.


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