well, i have shit to post, but its private, at this point. very fucking private. so i guess ill just keep it on paper. enjoy the world, people.
EDIT:
so, today, a bad storm. well, bad by only to a certain few. nice for me. woke up to this lovely sight.
good storm passing through. hurricane warnings earlier, tornado touch down. school got cancelled, power went out all over the grid. luckily i live JUST outside of that grid, so hello power at my house. drove around with my windows down, enjoyed the ambient.
other than that, been trying to keep my mind stable. its been going off on wild tangents recently, investigating possibilities that do not exist, trying to discover emotions that arent there, and just generally searching for a prize that was taken a long time ago.
more over.... well.... three men encounter a lamp and rub it, a genie pops out. he says to each, i will make all your dreams come true. the first man, he gets the woman he has been dreaming of for years. the second, he gets the business he has always wanted. the third man stand quietly, and when the genie asks him what he wants the man simply replies "you say you can make all my dreams come true, but my dreams already were true. i just wish for them to end now."
nightmares continue. though due to the fact i wake when my body feels like it, i do not remember them anymore. i just know the feeling inside that accompanies them. thank god i have no alarm clock, no one to wake me. if i could remember these.... my days would be filled with this:
this is now my weekend nights. no more clubs, no bars. just a glass of scotch and the comfort of my own home. the phone helps sometimes. my roommate, well, hes cool as hell, so he can keep my mind centered when hes around. i try to take stock in other things too.... like this little guy:
i feed the fish, look for the turtles, play with the frogs. i sit around, quiet and calm, read a book or stare into the pond. into the darkness of it. i still am curious how deep it is, but would rather allow my imagination to continue rather than figure it out. sets the stage for my mind to have fun, innocent as a child, with the whole world as a playground.
im not sure what to do with my life, as far as relationships go. i guess i could just sit around, and see where the chips fall. i dont know what to do, not sure how far away the shared future lies. i dont see it coming any time soon. i guess i should just have a spot of fun for the time being. whatever. ill survive my road alone if i must.
EDIT:
so, today, a bad storm. well, bad by only to a certain few. nice for me. woke up to this lovely sight.
good storm passing through. hurricane warnings earlier, tornado touch down. school got cancelled, power went out all over the grid. luckily i live JUST outside of that grid, so hello power at my house. drove around with my windows down, enjoyed the ambient.
other than that, been trying to keep my mind stable. its been going off on wild tangents recently, investigating possibilities that do not exist, trying to discover emotions that arent there, and just generally searching for a prize that was taken a long time ago.
more over.... well.... three men encounter a lamp and rub it, a genie pops out. he says to each, i will make all your dreams come true. the first man, he gets the woman he has been dreaming of for years. the second, he gets the business he has always wanted. the third man stand quietly, and when the genie asks him what he wants the man simply replies "you say you can make all my dreams come true, but my dreams already were true. i just wish for them to end now."
nightmares continue. though due to the fact i wake when my body feels like it, i do not remember them anymore. i just know the feeling inside that accompanies them. thank god i have no alarm clock, no one to wake me. if i could remember these.... my days would be filled with this:
this is now my weekend nights. no more clubs, no bars. just a glass of scotch and the comfort of my own home. the phone helps sometimes. my roommate, well, hes cool as hell, so he can keep my mind centered when hes around. i try to take stock in other things too.... like this little guy:
i feed the fish, look for the turtles, play with the frogs. i sit around, quiet and calm, read a book or stare into the pond. into the darkness of it. i still am curious how deep it is, but would rather allow my imagination to continue rather than figure it out. sets the stage for my mind to have fun, innocent as a child, with the whole world as a playground.
im not sure what to do with my life, as far as relationships go. i guess i could just sit around, and see where the chips fall. i dont know what to do, not sure how far away the shared future lies. i dont see it coming any time soon. i guess i should just have a spot of fun for the time being. whatever. ill survive my road alone if i must.