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illuminatus

Harrisburg

Member Since 2008

Followers 7 Following 17

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Thursday May 06, 2010

May 6, 2010
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"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."
- August Wilson

"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: Be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledge."
- Elbert Hubbarb

"There are at least two kinds of cowards. One kind always lives with himself, afraid to face the world. The other kind lives with the world, afraid to face himself."
- Roscoe Snowden

"I am nothing but the culmination of all my yesterdays. I must accept everything, for to ignore anything means to be incomplete."
- Illuminatus

today was a day of decision. choices had to be made. choices that would (or wouldn't, consequently) impact other people's lives. should i act and try to help someone, or go against my natural and ignore my empathy and desire to help the ones in my circles? leave it be, and allow the knowledge i have come to them after enough failures? should i act upon another, and make them suffer the consequences of their actions, if it means they will suffer them for many years?

today, i decided to ignore sympathy, ignore my empathy, ignore my judgment. someone has been permanently cast out of my circles, and into the realm lacking of care, the realm outside of my circles. i have decided. i am ignoring one person, and pursuing another. the one.... the one devoid of all concern from me, well, at least i tried before. their problem has become someone else's problem will eventually be their own problem. but more importantly, it is no longer my problem, and i will not burden myself with it. much like beggers on the street, i will not help someone who does not seek to help themselves.

the other decision i made today.... well, i am about to put a 17 year old male in jail. and all over a gas can. the one he stole from my garage a few days ago. i witnessed the theft, got the license plate of his parents vehicle i'm assuming, and as it turns out..... got to do a photo lineup . i marked the picture that was most set in my memory, and i was right. apparently, my thief has already been arrested, and has a mug shot. the license plate, his father's car. i am awaiting a call from the DA's office, where they will most likely attempt to grief me into not pressing charges. i know, its over a gas can.

thats not the point. first and foremost, i have no respect for thieves. especially ones that violate the sanctity of my home, for something so minuscule. i went through the debate, and this is my choice. first off, obviously he has not learned from his last adventure that landed him the mug shot. second, i cannot allow anyone to think they can get away with stealing from my home. and third, and probably most importantly, this decision may save his life. had my roommate caught him, my roommate probably would have shot him. thats my roommate.... he has guns, likes them, and has very little patience for disobedience.

"Choices are opinions in action, and, like opinions, sometimes they can be changed. Other times, they are forever."
- Illuminatus

long ago, i used to be the one all my friends came to. i used to be considered wise beyond my age, my age of 17. which pretty much means i was about as wise as a 19 year old. it was my quotes they would post everywhere. it was my sayings they would repeat to others to help them. it was my advice they would use, and thank me for.

"Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again. "
- Robert Brault

i am retracing myself to find that person. i have once again picked up psychology studies, though right now its just reading. maybe after school here, and during my business education, i will also apply myself to psychology and other things that intrigue me. as i previously said, i am nothing but the culmination of all my yesterdays. i must accept everything, for to ignore anything means to be incomplete. today, somehow, i have finally accepted the demon that is part of me.

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. "
- Mark Twain

my demon is my moon. he is my dark side, and without him, i am incomplete. i mustn't show him to the world, rather filter him through he rest of me.

"Men are respectable only as they respect."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

i almost lost that of me. i spent time wondering if i should stop giving people full respect immediately, and let them build down. for a second, it seemed as though it only serves to come back against me. i meet all too many people that aren't deserving of such a level of respect, and wondered if i should stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. luckily, i came back around to all the aspects of this decision. it is this quality that allows me to hold the door open for a stranger, and thank another when they do the same for me. it is this quality that allows me meet so many different people, and learn so much about people in general. some of these people come and go, others stay around. either way.... i would be completely disreputable if i stopped respecting.

EDIT:

its amazing what a difference one letter can make. you could have something, or you could hate it. you could just live with something, or you can love it. you could spend all the time in the world thinking "what if" or you could sit there and realize "what is." just one letter... can change everything in your world.
sisu:
I like your Snowden quote. Thanks for sharing. :-)
May 6, 2010

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