so im sitting here waiting for my buddy to come home. so far, ive already gotten food to cook for him for the week, im cleaning and taking him out with people. gettin him to feel better. seeing as how noone here knows him, i guess i can say whats going on.
he and his wife have been fighting for a little while now. he was going to get her a bus ticket to go back to her home for a little while when suddenly he came home from work and his tv, ps3, all his games most of his movies and a few other choice items were missing from the house.... along with her. there was anote that said she pawned them for money for a bus ticket. so... he was left here with nothing pretty much.
thats where i stepped in. im living here for a week and was going to be a great help, but my car problems from the other day are kinda..... restricting me a bit.
but still, with me cooking and cleaning and pretty much being his temporary wife.... i know its helping him to have support.
helping me too.
being these people, now with my new open and self concerned mindset, am beginning to see clearly again. these people, in all of our goofing off and nights out and times at the pool and beer pong games.... these people have seen my intellectual side and have seen the real me. its not that i have a bad problem not showing it, just have a problem waiting too long to let it out. its more like i need inspiration to... and bodies.
ive said once before i strongly prefer body language to words. and i guess its stands even more true than i thought. i dont read trust, comfort, or open arms from words, instead from the eyes, posture, voice tone. i need the someone or someones to be there. i dunno why, just me i guess.
but anywhos, last night was a lot of fun. got to watch people be retarded at many things at the club. had some laughs, maybe a couple tears lol coming back to myself and having fun again. damn its good to have friends....
....again
EDIT:
im watching generation kill and theres something strangely comfortable about it. like...... i miss it. for those who dont know this show, its about the first marine unit to invade into iraq, based off true events, and is quite possibly the most accurate depiction of the modern military in a war zone. its full of retarded commaders, asshole sargeant majors, and combat. and for some reason, something sits within me that just makes me.... miss it.
when i visited my unit yesterday at formation.... i almost missed it then. i dont get it. i dont want that anymore. ive already had this conversation with my father. im sick of walking into somewhere and eyeballing the biggest threat first. im sick of driving down the roads staring at everything that moves simultaneously. i hate looking at all the windows i drive by, any movement making me focus.
when i first got back, driving was like a heart attack. i couldnt move any faster than about 65, and any car that was close enough to read their plates...... made me nervous. for months exhaust backfires made me twitch. i returned from iraq in february, and by the fourth of july, i still couldnt stand the fireworks. couple months ago at the nuclear cowboyz show, while gettin a burger some explosion went off, and it was the worst yet.
everything went black. i didnt know where i was. i reached to my back, where my pistol grip used to be. i sight widened and i could see everything, but i was not looking at faces. i was looking at hands, feet, chests, anyone whos head was rapidly turning, wires on the ground.... everything i had to watch for to survive for so long. my heart was pounding yet i was motionless with one hand behind me. nothing but my eyes moving and my head slowly scanning.
i remember the man in the white shirt, kethup stain on his right chest, with a child eating a hot dog. mustard. the kid wasnt eating, he was trying to see the source of the boom. i was trying to see everything else. he reminded me of when we first were there. when we werent trained enough to watch what was needed to watch. once the explosion is done.... look everywhere else. if you can hear the boom, your fine. if you can see the flash, hope to god you can hear anything. fuck this is just weird
he and his wife have been fighting for a little while now. he was going to get her a bus ticket to go back to her home for a little while when suddenly he came home from work and his tv, ps3, all his games most of his movies and a few other choice items were missing from the house.... along with her. there was anote that said she pawned them for money for a bus ticket. so... he was left here with nothing pretty much.
thats where i stepped in. im living here for a week and was going to be a great help, but my car problems from the other day are kinda..... restricting me a bit.
but still, with me cooking and cleaning and pretty much being his temporary wife.... i know its helping him to have support.
helping me too.
being these people, now with my new open and self concerned mindset, am beginning to see clearly again. these people, in all of our goofing off and nights out and times at the pool and beer pong games.... these people have seen my intellectual side and have seen the real me. its not that i have a bad problem not showing it, just have a problem waiting too long to let it out. its more like i need inspiration to... and bodies.
ive said once before i strongly prefer body language to words. and i guess its stands even more true than i thought. i dont read trust, comfort, or open arms from words, instead from the eyes, posture, voice tone. i need the someone or someones to be there. i dunno why, just me i guess.
but anywhos, last night was a lot of fun. got to watch people be retarded at many things at the club. had some laughs, maybe a couple tears lol coming back to myself and having fun again. damn its good to have friends....
....again
EDIT:
im watching generation kill and theres something strangely comfortable about it. like...... i miss it. for those who dont know this show, its about the first marine unit to invade into iraq, based off true events, and is quite possibly the most accurate depiction of the modern military in a war zone. its full of retarded commaders, asshole sargeant majors, and combat. and for some reason, something sits within me that just makes me.... miss it.
when i visited my unit yesterday at formation.... i almost missed it then. i dont get it. i dont want that anymore. ive already had this conversation with my father. im sick of walking into somewhere and eyeballing the biggest threat first. im sick of driving down the roads staring at everything that moves simultaneously. i hate looking at all the windows i drive by, any movement making me focus.
when i first got back, driving was like a heart attack. i couldnt move any faster than about 65, and any car that was close enough to read their plates...... made me nervous. for months exhaust backfires made me twitch. i returned from iraq in february, and by the fourth of july, i still couldnt stand the fireworks. couple months ago at the nuclear cowboyz show, while gettin a burger some explosion went off, and it was the worst yet.
everything went black. i didnt know where i was. i reached to my back, where my pistol grip used to be. i sight widened and i could see everything, but i was not looking at faces. i was looking at hands, feet, chests, anyone whos head was rapidly turning, wires on the ground.... everything i had to watch for to survive for so long. my heart was pounding yet i was motionless with one hand behind me. nothing but my eyes moving and my head slowly scanning.
i remember the man in the white shirt, kethup stain on his right chest, with a child eating a hot dog. mustard. the kid wasnt eating, he was trying to see the source of the boom. i was trying to see everything else. he reminded me of when we first were there. when we werent trained enough to watch what was needed to watch. once the explosion is done.... look everywhere else. if you can hear the boom, your fine. if you can see the flash, hope to god you can hear anything. fuck this is just weird