its called liminal time. in between time. "already-not yet" time. sometimes used to refer to the time between christmas and new years. its already, but not yet the new year. in christian theology, its used as a description of the present, in which God's realm of justice and peace has already definitively triumphed, but not yet in the tangible and material way people hope to experience.
more recently used to describe a different realm of time. liminal time itself represents a moment in which time stop passing. a moment referred to as a moment "outside of time."
to christians, this describes the moment of ones salvation. to bhuddists, the moment of enlightenment after a long deep period of meditation. outside of religion, it can be experienced at the birth of one's first child. for me, i can experience it at the final moment of intense intimacy with someone i truly care for.
some past cultures viewed sex as a unique holy experience. a sacred act. for men, at that moment of climax, the mind goes ocmpletely blank. these cultures believed this moment as the closest to God as one could get. for me, however, true liminal time occurs when my mind blank vanquishes.
th emind slowly returns, little by little. my world comes back to me, in my weakened state. for me, its a defining moment in a relationship. a parable. a turning point. two things could happen at this moment. one, i can come to a normal self, thinking about food or a cigarette. get off and get up. move on. my mind functioning as it typically does. nothing special. this happens with people i dont feel a deep level of care with.
the other, preferrable, experience, is much different. after that mind blank, whne i begin to think again, all i can think about is this person. this body reminding me that i am not alone. there i am, in that weakened state, only one thought on my mind. one singular focal point of my attention.
i give in. surrender myself. i am physically exhausted, mentally clear, and spiritually latched. i just lay there, reach out for my partner, and hope they can accept me in my succumbed demeanor, the weakest i am.
this moment, not liminal, but terrifying. nerve wrecking. this is me, naked both physically and mentally. weak, submissive. this is that very important moment i nthe relationship. again, one of two thing will happen.
one, i will not receive the comfort i am searching for. anxiety builds, the terror becomes a reality. i react irrationally, talking and making no sense. or cracking jokes. moving about rapidly. becoming the normal goofy self this person seems to enjoy. and i am fine again, settled. moment passed. chemistry missing. possibility of future relationship, none.
the greater, enlightening moment, they accept me. they share the embrace, holding me as you would a child frightened from a nightmare. everything i am, everything i am not, my weak self, accepted. i am cared for, i am completed. and just then..... liminal time returns. time stops, everything makes sense although the rest of the world ceases to exist. just the two of us, lost in each other. the ultimate, and rarest, comfort. perfection.
the ability to know i can give myself to someone who will accept me, completely stripped, figuratively speaking. this is that moment i find hard to let go, no matter what we turn into. no matter what their feelings of me become, no matter what my feelings of them become. no matter how much i try or succeed to hate them, that moment rests in my chest for what seems like eternity. liminal feelings.
for some men, they can understand this, but, not by a long shot ALL men. for these men, for us, this is a peice of our heart. women who accept us at this moment, have accepted a peice of our heart, whether or not they know it. us men like this, sex becomes the ultimate spiritual connection. to clarify, not the sex itself, but the time afterwards. that time of embrace, of love.
moving on is a requirement of life, and honestly not difficult. it takes merely a couple days or a couple awesome moments with good friends to get over this person. but the more of your heart you give, the more of these moments you share, that comfort becomes near impossible to get over. a forever lasting feeling, this pain of that lost comfort. liminal pain. eventually that subsides, but that time between.......
....i am already over it, but not yet apparent in the tangible and material way i hope to experience.
more recently used to describe a different realm of time. liminal time itself represents a moment in which time stop passing. a moment referred to as a moment "outside of time."
to christians, this describes the moment of ones salvation. to bhuddists, the moment of enlightenment after a long deep period of meditation. outside of religion, it can be experienced at the birth of one's first child. for me, i can experience it at the final moment of intense intimacy with someone i truly care for.
some past cultures viewed sex as a unique holy experience. a sacred act. for men, at that moment of climax, the mind goes ocmpletely blank. these cultures believed this moment as the closest to God as one could get. for me, however, true liminal time occurs when my mind blank vanquishes.
th emind slowly returns, little by little. my world comes back to me, in my weakened state. for me, its a defining moment in a relationship. a parable. a turning point. two things could happen at this moment. one, i can come to a normal self, thinking about food or a cigarette. get off and get up. move on. my mind functioning as it typically does. nothing special. this happens with people i dont feel a deep level of care with.
the other, preferrable, experience, is much different. after that mind blank, whne i begin to think again, all i can think about is this person. this body reminding me that i am not alone. there i am, in that weakened state, only one thought on my mind. one singular focal point of my attention.
i give in. surrender myself. i am physically exhausted, mentally clear, and spiritually latched. i just lay there, reach out for my partner, and hope they can accept me in my succumbed demeanor, the weakest i am.
this moment, not liminal, but terrifying. nerve wrecking. this is me, naked both physically and mentally. weak, submissive. this is that very important moment i nthe relationship. again, one of two thing will happen.
one, i will not receive the comfort i am searching for. anxiety builds, the terror becomes a reality. i react irrationally, talking and making no sense. or cracking jokes. moving about rapidly. becoming the normal goofy self this person seems to enjoy. and i am fine again, settled. moment passed. chemistry missing. possibility of future relationship, none.
the greater, enlightening moment, they accept me. they share the embrace, holding me as you would a child frightened from a nightmare. everything i am, everything i am not, my weak self, accepted. i am cared for, i am completed. and just then..... liminal time returns. time stops, everything makes sense although the rest of the world ceases to exist. just the two of us, lost in each other. the ultimate, and rarest, comfort. perfection.
the ability to know i can give myself to someone who will accept me, completely stripped, figuratively speaking. this is that moment i find hard to let go, no matter what we turn into. no matter what their feelings of me become, no matter what my feelings of them become. no matter how much i try or succeed to hate them, that moment rests in my chest for what seems like eternity. liminal feelings.
for some men, they can understand this, but, not by a long shot ALL men. for these men, for us, this is a peice of our heart. women who accept us at this moment, have accepted a peice of our heart, whether or not they know it. us men like this, sex becomes the ultimate spiritual connection. to clarify, not the sex itself, but the time afterwards. that time of embrace, of love.
moving on is a requirement of life, and honestly not difficult. it takes merely a couple days or a couple awesome moments with good friends to get over this person. but the more of your heart you give, the more of these moments you share, that comfort becomes near impossible to get over. a forever lasting feeling, this pain of that lost comfort. liminal pain. eventually that subsides, but that time between.......
....i am already over it, but not yet apparent in the tangible and material way i hope to experience.
you will get over it. there will be this moment when you realize it and it will set you free. <3