continued from yesterday.
No, no, no, please God no!
And weve been thinking for a while.
My mind kept replacing the word thinking with fucking.
That maybe wed like to...
Oh God, I think I might have to roll down the window for this one.
Adopt.
Wha... well I suppose that's better than my fifty year old mother carrying a baby. Besides, I wasnt planning on moving back home, Id never see the kid.
Are you thinking about a baby or teenager or what?
We were thinking about someone between the ages of ten and thirteen.
Are you sure about this. I mean one of us is bound to give you a grand kid in a couple of years.
My father looks at me.
Whoa, not me! Im talking about Sean and Christopher.
All right.
So, I suppose itll be a girl?
Thats what we were thinking. Howd you know?
Lucky guess.
5.
My mom, she loves having me home. Not because she loves me but because Im her errand boy. I still to this day have no idea why she chose me. I never get it right. Shed ask me to pick up her dry-cleaning, Id go to the wrong one. Shed ask me to buy her low fat milk, Id come back with 2%. Shed send me to pick up something from her friends house, Id get lost. I guess she thought that sending me on these quest would make me more responsible but all they did was prove I was an idiot. But she never gave up on me no matter how much I wish she would.
6.
My parents are church people. Monday (Youth Choir rehearsal), Tuesday (Adult Choir rehearsal), Wednesday (Prayer meeting), Thursday (youth meeting), Friday (deacons meeting), Saturday (Male chorus rehearsal), Sunday (Church service. Twice!) church people. One thing my parents hate about my recent incarnation is my lack of religion. Ive never been fond of church. Too many rules and regulations. Too many external restraints on something thats suppose to be internal. I remember sitting in church watching all the saints yell Amen and Alleluia feeling completely alone. Were they even listening to what this guy was saying? He ends his sermons with the same ten minute speech every Sunday and every Sunday the old ladies sing preach as though it were a new idea. To top all this off the same people that you see in church on Sunday praising the name of Lord would tell you to Go fuck yourself on Monday.
To believe in God is crazy, but to not believe is more so. To believe in God is to believe in the things we cant see. Religion has taught us that theres an invisible man in the sky that watches everything you do and if you do too many bad things and dont ask for forgiveness for being born evil he will send you to a place of fire and brimstone and unspeakable pain... but he loves you.
Now consider the alternative. To not believe is to lose faith in all things we cant see. What are love, hate, joy and sadness. Is crying anything more than the lacrimal gland in the upper, outer corner of your upper eyelid secreting a salty, watery discharge that keeps the eye constantly moist or is it a little more than that? How do you reverse all the things you were taught were real? To live life with no emotion has to be the loneliest feeling in the world. Quite the paradox.
Now think about this; over two thousand years ago four men wrote about the same event; the crucifixion of Christ. All Four men, though they saw the same thing, had different stories. Jesus famous words Father forgive them, they know not what they do is only mentioned by Luke. Jesus cried out on the cross My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me but not loud enough for Luke and John to hear. Only Matthew and Mark tell the story.
No, no, no, please God no!
And weve been thinking for a while.
My mind kept replacing the word thinking with fucking.
That maybe wed like to...
Oh God, I think I might have to roll down the window for this one.
Adopt.
Wha... well I suppose that's better than my fifty year old mother carrying a baby. Besides, I wasnt planning on moving back home, Id never see the kid.
Are you thinking about a baby or teenager or what?
We were thinking about someone between the ages of ten and thirteen.
Are you sure about this. I mean one of us is bound to give you a grand kid in a couple of years.
My father looks at me.
Whoa, not me! Im talking about Sean and Christopher.
All right.
So, I suppose itll be a girl?
Thats what we were thinking. Howd you know?
Lucky guess.
5.
My mom, she loves having me home. Not because she loves me but because Im her errand boy. I still to this day have no idea why she chose me. I never get it right. Shed ask me to pick up her dry-cleaning, Id go to the wrong one. Shed ask me to buy her low fat milk, Id come back with 2%. Shed send me to pick up something from her friends house, Id get lost. I guess she thought that sending me on these quest would make me more responsible but all they did was prove I was an idiot. But she never gave up on me no matter how much I wish she would.
6.
My parents are church people. Monday (Youth Choir rehearsal), Tuesday (Adult Choir rehearsal), Wednesday (Prayer meeting), Thursday (youth meeting), Friday (deacons meeting), Saturday (Male chorus rehearsal), Sunday (Church service. Twice!) church people. One thing my parents hate about my recent incarnation is my lack of religion. Ive never been fond of church. Too many rules and regulations. Too many external restraints on something thats suppose to be internal. I remember sitting in church watching all the saints yell Amen and Alleluia feeling completely alone. Were they even listening to what this guy was saying? He ends his sermons with the same ten minute speech every Sunday and every Sunday the old ladies sing preach as though it were a new idea. To top all this off the same people that you see in church on Sunday praising the name of Lord would tell you to Go fuck yourself on Monday.
To believe in God is crazy, but to not believe is more so. To believe in God is to believe in the things we cant see. Religion has taught us that theres an invisible man in the sky that watches everything you do and if you do too many bad things and dont ask for forgiveness for being born evil he will send you to a place of fire and brimstone and unspeakable pain... but he loves you.
Now consider the alternative. To not believe is to lose faith in all things we cant see. What are love, hate, joy and sadness. Is crying anything more than the lacrimal gland in the upper, outer corner of your upper eyelid secreting a salty, watery discharge that keeps the eye constantly moist or is it a little more than that? How do you reverse all the things you were taught were real? To live life with no emotion has to be the loneliest feeling in the world. Quite the paradox.
Now think about this; over two thousand years ago four men wrote about the same event; the crucifixion of Christ. All Four men, though they saw the same thing, had different stories. Jesus famous words Father forgive them, they know not what they do is only mentioned by Luke. Jesus cried out on the cross My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me but not loud enough for Luke and John to hear. Only Matthew and Mark tell the story.
cheech:
Sokay; I generally assume folks r kiddin.
artchick:
This is interesting.. it feels largely autobiographical, and it makes me want to pick out the bits that are true. It feels very close to you.