ikon

no answer for you


that's the phone ringing
I have to tell myself not
to pound it into the top
of the table
that ring tone is annoying
but that's my fault
the call is someone else's fault
and i'll have to deal with them later
but the ringing is my problem
i'm lazy is all
can't or won't find the time
to change it...
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creeping dark


i thought i could see everything
everything about this
but i realized far too late
that i was blind after all

either it was really dark at the time
or that's a soul as black as night
cunt
i want to scream it
but this is my failure
a failure for not seeing
for being blind
for not extending my hand
in the...
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i don't


who walks through my door
but king shit himself
i don't get this guy
why is he talking to me
do i look interested
i obviously don't

since the start
i have managed to memorize
every name of every book
on the third shelf of the
case behind his head

who thought to put philosophy
next to cooking
interesting subconscious

he is insane...
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the true measure of power


when i close my eyes
and concentrate
i can feel my pulse
it first starts with the
blood pounding in
my head
right behind the ears
then
in my temples
my pulse
my heartbeat
be bump be bump be bump
it's strong and i can hear the blood flowing
then it stops
it actually stops
everything
the attempt to feel...
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no subject


it's been very hard to gather any thoughts
today. i had this feeling of industry of a sorts
i wanted to create, but i kept experiancing
a certain lack of motivation.

ideas like little snakes are writhing around
in my brain, looking for escape, but i am
finding that i am unable to gather enough
strength or force of will to let them...
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a drink with good to questionable company


people have seen a ghost in my building
many people over the years report the same
it's always a he
and he wanders the upstairs hallway
the laundry room
the band room with it's shitty carpet
oh, the stories i bet he can tell about
the wild nights in
that little room
there was a few run ins...
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cursor 1


infernal blinking
my laptop aches from the constant weight of it
blink blink blink blink
yes i see you
fuck off
i'll tell you this
you're only there
because i don't care
if i did care i would write
something and make you fucking
work for a change
rather than you just
wasting my time
and exhausting my patience
on watching you disappear...
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keeping the time



at the time of this
being put to paper
it will have been
exactly
39 hours and 18 minutes
since i smiled
i would
at this time
like to express the fact
that this is absolutely
the most shittiest 39th hour stretch
in the history of 39th hour stretches

I hope hour 40 starts looking up

a life less exhausting


I have just had my tiny grinch
heart handed to me on a silver
platter.
pumping out bile and hatred
and what little caring that was
left
it's called a muscle, but it's shit
and it's the weakest one there
is
The platter is a silver mirror that
only shows me reflections of
stupidity
This is what I get for going...
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daylights thorn


this place is dark
darker than usual
darker than faust
maybe it's just overcast outside
maybe the tree is in bloom
blocking out the yellow
maybe the sun desided we weren't worth the effort today
sol
harbinger of nights
end
entertainments end
my end
i've always belittled
the sunlight
never cared for what it did
ruining my glorious nights
i could of had...
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