ikon

i don't


who walks through my door
but king shit himself
i don't get this guy
why is he talking to me
do i look interested
i obviously don't

since the start
i have managed to memorize
every name of every book
on the third shelf of the
case behind his head

who thought to put philosophy
next to cooking
interesting subconscious

he is insane...
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the true measure of power


when i close my eyes
and concentrate
i can feel my pulse
it first starts with the
blood pounding in
my head
right behind the ears
then
in my temples
my pulse
my heartbeat
be bump be bump be bump
it's strong and i can hear the blood flowing
then it stops
it actually stops
everything
the attempt to feel...
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no subject


it's been very hard to gather any thoughts
today. i had this feeling of industry of a sorts
i wanted to create, but i kept experiancing
a certain lack of motivation.

ideas like little snakes are writhing around
in my brain, looking for escape, but i am
finding that i am unable to gather enough
strength or force of will to let them...
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a drink with good to questionable company


people have seen a ghost in my building
many people over the years report the same
it's always a he
and he wanders the upstairs hallway
the laundry room
the band room with it's shitty carpet
oh, the stories i bet he can tell about
the wild nights in
that little room
there was a few run ins...
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cursor 1


infernal blinking
my laptop aches from the constant weight of it
blink blink blink blink
yes i see you
fuck off
i'll tell you this
you're only there
because i don't care
if i did care i would write
something and make you fucking
work for a change
rather than you just
wasting my time
and exhausting my patience
on watching you disappear...
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keeping the time



at the time of this
being put to paper
it will have been
exactly
39 hours and 18 minutes
since i smiled
i would
at this time
like to express the fact
that this is absolutely
the most shittiest 39th hour stretch
in the history of 39th hour stretches

I hope hour 40 starts looking up

a life less exhausting


I have just had my tiny grinch
heart handed to me on a silver
platter.
pumping out bile and hatred
and what little caring that was
left
it's called a muscle, but it's shit
and it's the weakest one there
is
The platter is a silver mirror that
only shows me reflections of
stupidity
This is what I get for going...
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daylights thorn


this place is dark
darker than usual
darker than faust
maybe it's just overcast outside
maybe the tree is in bloom
blocking out the yellow
maybe the sun desided we weren't worth the effort today
sol
harbinger of nights
end
entertainments end
my end
i've always belittled
the sunlight
never cared for what it did
ruining my glorious nights
i could of had...
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long into tomorrows


not having closure
is the worst
say goodbye
goodluck
adios
fuck you
anything

it's better than
Not Now
Not Here
Not You

just a simple thing
could mean worlds of solice

You Don't Fit Into My Plans
thanks for nothing
i can't even scream
YOU WHORE
because nothing was bought
or sold
time was given freely
feelings were given freely
nothing asked...
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the death and depth of a wasted dream


why do you dream about normal

what does normal look like anyways

up before the yellow disk
a shower
a shave
coffee : most tempting of legal narcotics
kiss goodbye
hug goodbye : obviously not for everyone
car bus train to your respective
city of industries
_________ insert name here
than live that slow death
that only...
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4 hours


the drive isn't really that bad
i can do it without listening
to music
the road is pretty much uncluttered
with traffic
just the occassional road crew
in orange and yellow jackets
with faces that all look exactly the same
at 85 mph
i don't need to listen to music because
my head is already filled with the
conversations that we should have...
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house cleaning

so i was cleaning out the laptop
and ran across some poems.

at the time i deleted them from my blogs
i felt that they had served their purpose

now i'm re-posting because i'm feeling a
bit nostalgic.

now just a word of caution.
these were written by me, for me,
and for my piece of mind.
so don't feel obligated to comment...
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