ikilledlaurap

So I quit my job last week. The stress was just eating at me, I could barely stand being there. I kind of regret it now after today's events, but I know that I probably would have been even more miserable than I am now.

About today...

Almost immediately after I quit my job, I started applying for a new one. McDonald's was the first place to call me back, so, having worked there before, I jumped at the opportunity. I was "hired" on the spot at my job interview, but was told that I needed to pass a drug test. I smoke pot and I'm not ashamed of it, but I knew that it was something that would not go over with them. Luckily, I hadn't smoked since my trip earlier this month to California, so I thought that with tons of water and juice I would be fine. I took the test on Friday and didn't hear anything about it through the weekend, so naturally I thought I was good to go and went to the orientation today.

Things were normal. They made copies of my driver's license and social security card, then told me to go into the conference room with the other new-hires. In the room we were met by a manager, who, to my surprise, actually asked if we had all taken our drug tests. Wait, aren't you supposed to know that already? To my horror, she called the drug testing place with all of sitting there so that she could get our results.

Ugh. I knew something bad was coming, but tried to push it out of my mind.

Everything seemed fine, until the manager started handing out pens for us to start doing our paperwork with. There were four of us there, but she only got out three pens. I reached for one and she looked at me and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, but you tested positive for marijuana on your drug test, so we can't hire you."

I have depression and anxiety problems. She called me out in front of all those people. I couldn't breathe.

I explained to her that it had just been once earlier in the month when I was in California, where marijuana is largely decriminalized, and I told her that it was definitely not something I do when I'm working. I knew this wouldn't matter, but I knew that I at least had to try. She just shook her head at me. So I got up and left, bawling my eyes out all the way down the street to my car.

I just can't believe how unprofessionally they handled that. I could have done the same and gone off, but I didn't. I took responsibility for my actions and told her that I understood. I just hate that something like that can't be let go of. And even more than that, I hate that they humiliated me in front of all of those people.

I'm trying to calm down about it, I just keep having panic attacks. Justin and I are moving to Florida in a month and he's already told me that he's perfectly fine with me staying home with him during that time. As he put it today, "At least you got to get high and not have to work at McDonald's again."