So, there was this girl in my English class that I was interested in. No surprise there. What was surprising was that she started showing signs that she was interested in me. I was over the moon. That's never happened to me before. I mean, she showed several signs that when put together kind of make it irrefutable: biting her lip, not opening her car door when we got to her car, pointing me in the direction of her car so we could continue our conversation.
So, I do the obvious thing. I ask her out. Well, she says that she can't because she had already made plans for that day. Okay. That's cool. Well, then she stresses that she not making excuses, that it's just life. Even better. That told me that she wanted me to ask her again.
So, the next time I see her, I do just that. Only this time she gives me some lame excuse. I didn't really notice how lame it was at the time, so I went along with it. Then, I ask her to put her number in my phone, so that I can text her so that she can have my number. So, as soon as I get back to my car I do just that. Only she doesn't respond. I'd asked her a simple question, too, so it wouldn't have been hard or weird to do so. The next day I figure out that she's not going to, so I call (expecting her to screen it) and leave her a message essentially telling her that she can tell me anything and it won't be a big deal. (Big thank you to @sundew for helping to figure this part out.)
Well, it works. The next day she texts me and tells me that she's not interested for some reason or other. So, I'm thinking about it and I became curious about why she lost interest. Since there is no other way to find out, I decided to ask her. But, I realized that I can't just ask that question and make it seem like I'm assuming that she was interested. So, I start by asking her if she was originally interested.
She told me, "No."
Needless to say, I was very confused. I was certain I hadn't analyzed anything incorrectly. Then, it dawned on me. Even though I had essentially said, "Tell me the truth. It's not a big deal," in that message, she decided that it would be better to lie to me and say, "No." This is just great. First, she decides to try and lie to be by omission by ignoring me. Then, she decides to lie to me and tell me that she was never interested. Most likely in the name of "sparing my feelings."
I've lost interest now, of course. But, it still irks me. Men are more resilient than most women seem to give us credit for. The decent ones that might have actually been worth it, will appreciate if you just tell them straight up that you're not interested. It's not a big deal. The truth is always better in the world of first encounters of the romantic kind and it would be a lot easier if people understood that.