I recently redefined my idea of what a romantic relationship is. I thought about and decided that in order for a romantic relationship to have taken place, you must be emotionally intimate with another person. By this, I mean that both sides of the relationship were emotional intimate with each other. This idea comes with some pros and cons:
Con: I can no longer say that my first "girlfriend" was a girlfriend at all.
Pro: I no longer have to claim that I've ever had a girlfriend and have now completely washed my hands of her.
Seriously, she was nuts. She claimed that someone raped her while we were in the "relationship." She passed another guy a note asking him if he'd have sex with her she if didn't want him to. What's really bizarre about this is that she had been raped before. I mean, really. It's insane. The other guys used to tell me that she had flashed them for some reason or other. I didn't believe them then, but I do now. I don't think she ever really gave a shit about me. I'm still a little annoyed that I got sucked in, but I was fifteen. I didn't know any better back then.
Pro: I now have a clean slate for when the next girl comes along.
Pro: I now have an idea of how all of my future relationships need to unfold.
I can now go into any possible relationship with an idea of where I want it to go. Of course, I still don't know how I would gauge emotional intimacy. Or how to recognize it when it happens. It's still a mystery. I can't wait to solve it.