igordog

Fear, remorse, self doubt, obsession, depression....

Mankind was born a wounded animal. Born with brains full of headaches and hearts full of heartache.

We were born incomplete. Born in need of others... born needing to be loved, longing to be validated, wanting to be accepted.

We're born with fractured souls that we aimlessly try to repair.
'Could I fill the empty dead space in my chest with a career?' one might ask oneself.
'Could I fill it with money?'
'Could I fill it with sex?'
'could I fill it with drugs?'
'could I fill it with religion?'

Our souls are fragmented like a jigsaw puzzle. Infinitely complex, with pieces scattered to the horizon. Worse still, our needs change from moment to moment..... halfway down every road are street signs telling me that I'm going the wrong way...

And still... a cold void in my gut, that aches and shudders.....


Poor human me.... poor human everybody... naive and lost..... pretending to be God's favorites in a vest vast universe of things much more important than us.

Denying to ourselves that we're nothing more than animals, has left us alone in this world, with nothing to share our angst with... isolated from the world that we could have been a part of.

And alone we are... searching for things that don't exist.... searching for something that keeps us from needing other things to search for....



All I know is.... that in the last moments of my life, as I fade away on a hospital bed - I know that I am NOT going to be saying, "I wish I had done less with my life"

Maybe that's the rub.... you'll never find it til it's long gone.... you never see the window of obertunity til somebody shuts it.

Life... love... death... and then... then.... as that wounded and scarred heart, covered with glue and stitches and band-aids, finally stops beating.... maybe then, it'll start to make sense....
........ and then oblivion.......

... or not.... I've been wrong before, and will be again....