after seeing someone twice and talking to them on the phone twice over 8 days soemone decided they could not talk to me because they were too involved. Then today I woke up and had 6 text messages on my phone. All very psychotic and nasty. At 5:30 I began receiving more of them.
Here's a sample:
"You're sucha coward. Shame letting those brains go 2 waste. After u kill urself,can i eat ur brains?"
"I'm going to get high tonight,thengetting real meds tomorrow becauseI'm just in pain over assholes like u hurt me so much. Now please leave me alone."
hmmm.. I hadn't talked to her for two days at this point. Then... I received a voicmail at this point telling me that she was going to "check into a hospital" and that she blames me.
I get another call and answer -- "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK--" I hang up.
"And just in case u acuse me of lying, u paranoid fuck, the psychiatrist didn't think I needed to be committed"
Phone rings, no message left.
an hour after the last text meassage: "I would like 2 speak with u, if that would be ok sir"
umm... at this point my coworker is like "run! don't reply she's nuts! She's totally lost it."
i reply anyway... with "I'm at work, will call later.
In reply I get: "Ok im super sorry,i didn't know u worked so late"
I show my coworker the message and coworker says "She's like two different people. You gotta cut that out of your life now!. Don't call her. If you do don't ask questions, just be dry in your tone, be forthright abouthow you feel and what you want. But I wouldn't call her"
At this point I'm torn, because
a) I don't like to be blamed for this kind of shit happening to someone, even if I know it isn't my fault, I want them to know it and admit too. Really it's best for them as well.
b) It goes against my ever-wavering ethic to leave someone in a lurch. To write it off as not myy business when clearly I have some potential role to play even if only a symboiic bit part. Then why shirk that opportunity? MAybe it wouldn't go so bad and if it did, I could prolly handle that too.
So I get home, call, no answer. She calls back right away. I say "Yeah."
And la di da.. She's like I'm sorry, shouldn't be dating for like another decade or so, didn't want you to think I'm nuts though."
Which is fine because I remember crying at night for months once. That was after two years with someone and not 2 "dates." But whatever, I say "well yeah, I figure it's kind of a temporary thing for you, but you will probably want to get some help and talk to soemone about it. And that someon shouldn't be me."
she knows.
And I'm like and it's one thing to have feeligns and express them, but you have to temper that with respect ofr others, and you don't. Some people would have called the police after the 13 text messages, two voicemails, and one angry phone call in the space of a couple of hours."
Blah blah blah....
Total conversation kept down to ten minutes. And I hope she'll be alright.
But I'm gla I didn't listen to my cowroker and freak out and run. Really what's to be worried about over the phone? There's the possibility of encouraging someone, true, but once you sense the violence or lack of control in their voice you just let 'em haveit -- "Don't contact me again- ever" After that, if they do, they're fucked if you want them to be. Well, so long as you don't contact them at least. So really, nothing to worry about. No reason not to try to resolve a messy situation into one that isn't quite so. I'm glad I didn't jump to the paranoid, fearful conclusion without giving her a chance first. It's nice that she clamed down and actually faced herself. It's nice because it makes me feel better about people overall. For once, after years of dealing with psychos and fearful and presumptuous people (and I understand their fear is sometimes justified), I'm glad I gave soemone a chance and they didn't disappoint me or jade me further from the notion that humanity can be reasonable and not just self-effacing weaklings.
Oh and this cracked my shit up today: http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html
Here's a sample:
"You're sucha coward. Shame letting those brains go 2 waste. After u kill urself,can i eat ur brains?"
"I'm going to get high tonight,thengetting real meds tomorrow becauseI'm just in pain over assholes like u hurt me so much. Now please leave me alone."
hmmm.. I hadn't talked to her for two days at this point. Then... I received a voicmail at this point telling me that she was going to "check into a hospital" and that she blames me.
I get another call and answer -- "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK--" I hang up.
"And just in case u acuse me of lying, u paranoid fuck, the psychiatrist didn't think I needed to be committed"
Phone rings, no message left.
an hour after the last text meassage: "I would like 2 speak with u, if that would be ok sir"
umm... at this point my coworker is like "run! don't reply she's nuts! She's totally lost it."
i reply anyway... with "I'm at work, will call later.
In reply I get: "Ok im super sorry,i didn't know u worked so late"
I show my coworker the message and coworker says "She's like two different people. You gotta cut that out of your life now!. Don't call her. If you do don't ask questions, just be dry in your tone, be forthright abouthow you feel and what you want. But I wouldn't call her"
At this point I'm torn, because
a) I don't like to be blamed for this kind of shit happening to someone, even if I know it isn't my fault, I want them to know it and admit too. Really it's best for them as well.
b) It goes against my ever-wavering ethic to leave someone in a lurch. To write it off as not myy business when clearly I have some potential role to play even if only a symboiic bit part. Then why shirk that opportunity? MAybe it wouldn't go so bad and if it did, I could prolly handle that too.
So I get home, call, no answer. She calls back right away. I say "Yeah."
And la di da.. She's like I'm sorry, shouldn't be dating for like another decade or so, didn't want you to think I'm nuts though."
Which is fine because I remember crying at night for months once. That was after two years with someone and not 2 "dates." But whatever, I say "well yeah, I figure it's kind of a temporary thing for you, but you will probably want to get some help and talk to soemone about it. And that someon shouldn't be me."
she knows.
And I'm like and it's one thing to have feeligns and express them, but you have to temper that with respect ofr others, and you don't. Some people would have called the police after the 13 text messages, two voicemails, and one angry phone call in the space of a couple of hours."
Blah blah blah....
Total conversation kept down to ten minutes. And I hope she'll be alright.
But I'm gla I didn't listen to my cowroker and freak out and run. Really what's to be worried about over the phone? There's the possibility of encouraging someone, true, but once you sense the violence or lack of control in their voice you just let 'em haveit -- "Don't contact me again- ever" After that, if they do, they're fucked if you want them to be. Well, so long as you don't contact them at least. So really, nothing to worry about. No reason not to try to resolve a messy situation into one that isn't quite so. I'm glad I didn't jump to the paranoid, fearful conclusion without giving her a chance first. It's nice that she clamed down and actually faced herself. It's nice because it makes me feel better about people overall. For once, after years of dealing with psychos and fearful and presumptuous people (and I understand their fear is sometimes justified), I'm glad I gave soemone a chance and they didn't disappoint me or jade me further from the notion that humanity can be reasonable and not just self-effacing weaklings.
Oh and this cracked my shit up today: http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html