So...
This is the beginning of the liquid-filled diamond.
There is change going on all around me. Change that should be called upheavals. At work, with my family, with some friends. It is all around me. But not to me for once. It is worrisome, disturbing, exciting and full of noise, voices in the shadows.. There is much on my mind... This is the first.
It is not my business to try to help when I cannot. I make that a point. And has anyone noticed, when you tell this to the bleeding victim, that it is there own hands which must and legs which must crawl out of that hole. That I can only cheer you on and point to the path which is the safest and easiest to tread, or the most perilous if that is one's flavor. But I cannot sit there with you. I cannot buy in to the futility of happiness and need called "love," while sitting in your hole. And please, please if you will not stop picking at your wounds, for you are the only one left to be causing this blood to flow out of you, then will you revel in the experience and insight of the darkest of times? Some people can, My best friend does. she's amazing. I come in a close second place to her.
But what can the victim do? Well there's an upside to everything, in some cases you could just call yourself liberated instead of a victim. I did say "in SOME cases." What will it take for you stand up? To take those steps? Aren't you watching me? Or anyone else? One leg in front of the other,. Stop drop roll. get up. take it off, drop. get up. shake it off. Don't patronize yourself by asking what you did well today, start asking what you learned today? Are you lying to yourself again? You sure? You better check that list twice. Because it's not so bad. And it can be better. It can be beatiful. Even all of this sadness machinery has it's place. You can see, think , taste, touch, feel, absorb, marinate, execute with the deadly efficiency of a knife flying through the air, You can discover all the corners of yourself and this life. The strange and tasty things underground that only a pig's nose can discover. I mean, fuck! Have you ever had a truffle?
My brother blew a .028 tonight. He is unconcious at the hospital. This is his second DUI and third incident of driving drunk (they let him go one time) and his fourth run-in with the police for his drunkeness. He's totalled two cars. Neither of them his. He is a bi-polar alcoholic. He is 21. It's all everyone else's fault. We will have a gathering, an intervention. He will clean up and be willing to learn or he will end up on his own. He will die on his own. he''s never had an ounce of resilience. You cry for help which cannot be given. You deny the help that can be. Your life has been horrible, but now you must learn.
It is not my business to help in ways I cannot. But I will try to say the magic words that will slip through the walls of yourself and cause an eruption so fierce all of your hard and frozen facade will crack. It will be up to you to discover yourself. To take the scars, let them be beauty, let them be pride. They must not stop you. And you can bleed no more any time soon. I will try to say those magic words, if they exist. It is time to take a ride in the opaque box that swings fromt the string of the finger of Goddess Chance because I don't know what those words are if they can be at all.
This is the beginning of the liquid-filled diamond.
There is change going on all around me. Change that should be called upheavals. At work, with my family, with some friends. It is all around me. But not to me for once. It is worrisome, disturbing, exciting and full of noise, voices in the shadows.. There is much on my mind... This is the first.
It is not my business to try to help when I cannot. I make that a point. And has anyone noticed, when you tell this to the bleeding victim, that it is there own hands which must and legs which must crawl out of that hole. That I can only cheer you on and point to the path which is the safest and easiest to tread, or the most perilous if that is one's flavor. But I cannot sit there with you. I cannot buy in to the futility of happiness and need called "love," while sitting in your hole. And please, please if you will not stop picking at your wounds, for you are the only one left to be causing this blood to flow out of you, then will you revel in the experience and insight of the darkest of times? Some people can, My best friend does. she's amazing. I come in a close second place to her.
But what can the victim do? Well there's an upside to everything, in some cases you could just call yourself liberated instead of a victim. I did say "in SOME cases." What will it take for you stand up? To take those steps? Aren't you watching me? Or anyone else? One leg in front of the other,. Stop drop roll. get up. take it off, drop. get up. shake it off. Don't patronize yourself by asking what you did well today, start asking what you learned today? Are you lying to yourself again? You sure? You better check that list twice. Because it's not so bad. And it can be better. It can be beatiful. Even all of this sadness machinery has it's place. You can see, think , taste, touch, feel, absorb, marinate, execute with the deadly efficiency of a knife flying through the air, You can discover all the corners of yourself and this life. The strange and tasty things underground that only a pig's nose can discover. I mean, fuck! Have you ever had a truffle?
My brother blew a .028 tonight. He is unconcious at the hospital. This is his second DUI and third incident of driving drunk (they let him go one time) and his fourth run-in with the police for his drunkeness. He's totalled two cars. Neither of them his. He is a bi-polar alcoholic. He is 21. It's all everyone else's fault. We will have a gathering, an intervention. He will clean up and be willing to learn or he will end up on his own. He will die on his own. he''s never had an ounce of resilience. You cry for help which cannot be given. You deny the help that can be. Your life has been horrible, but now you must learn.
It is not my business to help in ways I cannot. But I will try to say the magic words that will slip through the walls of yourself and cause an eruption so fierce all of your hard and frozen facade will crack. It will be up to you to discover yourself. To take the scars, let them be beauty, let them be pride. They must not stop you. And you can bleed no more any time soon. I will try to say those magic words, if they exist. It is time to take a ride in the opaque box that swings fromt the string of the finger of Goddess Chance because I don't know what those words are if they can be at all.