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ifyoushowmeyours

Member Since 2010

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Wednesday Feb 24, 2010

Feb 24, 2010
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opinions, thoughts, feelings...

we all have them. i, however, have been spending a good deal of time lately thinking about the ways in which we do, or do not, express them. it seems as though we fall in to categories.

there are those who are constantly verbalizing their feelings. if you're looking for positive reinforcement, these would be the people with which to surround yourself. they're probably consistently telling you how great you are, and hey, sometimes its nice to not have to try and read their minds. but when is it sincere, and when is talk cheap?

on the other end of the spectrum, we've got the ones who are practically silent when it comes to their feelings. they're impossible to read, trust me, i've tried. but, its in the moments when they let something slip that you feel jittery and excited. however, does their lack of syntax point to a lack of interest?

somewhere in the middle you've got the type of person who feels strongly about almost everything. now, just because they feel it, doesn't mean they want you to know, so their daily battle is creating a facade of mystery, just waiting for someone to deserve the breach in security.

the real question is: who's words, or silence, do you feel are more genuine. what are the benefits of consistently knowing where you stand, or playing a guessing game until the moment comes where they reveal just enough to keep you intrigued? and for those of you who fall into the third category, how do you find a balance, a way to keep up your guard without seeming cold... and what happens when you show yourself, passion and all, only to feel as though it may have been the wrong choice?

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
elkah:
I think the answer lies in finding out what kind of person you're dealing with. The most important thing to realize is that each of these behaviors can be spurred by many different states of mind. Say you find someone who's genuinely loving standing next to someone who's scared that nobody cares about them. Both of these people might behave as your first example describes, but the words of the first can be trusted while those of the second cannot. So, it's not the behavior that dictates which person is more genuine, but rather the type of person displaying that behavior.

I think there's very little benefit in having to play the guessing game, though if you're the kind of person who doesn't have the urge to wonder most of the time, that 2nd behavior could work out for you.

Expressing your true emotions is never the wrong choice, because it's the only way we can know one another. Safety has no place in romance, and the attempts people make to shelter themselves while trying to create a romance with someone will inevitably fail because that romance is contingent upon the vulnerability of its makers.
Feb 25, 2010
pale_fire:
I've made the mistake of begging for and listening to words when I should have been paying attention to actions.

I've also made the mistake of thinking that silence meant brooding and deeper mysteries to discover. Again, wrong there.

But these mistakes were made with certain people, and I honestly believe they're not truths across the board.

Rus's last paragraph said it better than I've ever been able to put it.
Feb 26, 2010

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