I went on a date tonight, first one in over a year. She's way young and a real chatterbox, but if you listen long enough you realize that she actually is pretty smart. And if you give her enough time she'll run down and have a normal conversation. I think I'll see her again next week and call her every once in a while. I am not gonna get too serious about it though. I really do not have the time to devote to a real girlfriend and it wouldn't be fair to her to try to tie her down. Besides she is gonna have to be understanding about my home life, there is too many years of love and loyalty there for me to walk away from.
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guitargeek:
I don't get it. Too many years of love and loyalty to walk away from... who?
ifixtrains:
I love the people that I live with. They were there for me every time I fucked up, stumbled or lost my mind. I will never have a sexual relationship with them but I learned that without them I am lonely. So lonely I go a little nuts, or a lot nuts. So instead of trying to find a relationship that will replace the feeling of family that I have, I want to find someone who can fit in and will be a compliment to the household. I really do not think that I will find someone. I just cannot imagine a girl that can hang out with us and be content with me feeling the way I do and being anything other than a casual friend and lover. It is a pretty wierd arrangement that I have and in a strange way I am the second husband in a family. The real husband is my best friend from all the way back to high school, We've been loyal to eachother through some really stupid, emotional shit. mostly on my part. His wife loves me and counts on me to cover the stuff that he can't take care of since his job has him out of town constantly. I get to live in a situation where I do not have that emptiness in my life and we pool our resources and live far beyond what we could accomplish separatly. I know that when I live alone I am desperatly unhappy and I have never found a woman who I was willing to commit to a marriage. It's hard to find someone that I want to be with day after day. It's not like I am unable to extract myself from the household but the way things are now it would be a real hardship on everybody if I just bailed out to shack up with someone. I think it could take as much as six months for me to be ready to move out and I know it would wipe out my roomates to lose the help I give them. I do not provide any money in the form of rent but I do supply a lot of the food and I work 20-30 hours a week in the household buisness. That allows them to not have to hire another employee that would not be fully utilized and be more of a loss than an advantage. In return that frees up about 750 to 1000 dollars a month of my income to pay for all the wonderfull toys that I have and lets me indulge in my hobbies and bad habits. Besides with the cost of living here in denver it would cost me over 2000 dollars a month to live someplace as nice as I do for a little extra work.