Tis Been A Long Time
Victimless Crime
This is primarily directed at the douchebag Alan Dershowitz, who went on CNN last night saying we should leave poor (soon to be ex-) NY Governor Spitzer alone because what he did was not so bad and was in effect a victimless crime.
Well, Alan, I think that the (soon to be ex-) Governor's (soon to be ex-) wife might disagree with that sentiment. Let's just set aside the fact that he was sleeping with a call girl on the evening before Valentine's Day. Let's set aside the fact that he is implicated in having done this on occasions before this one. Let's set aside the Mann Act. Let's set aside the psychological trauma and social devestation of his three teenage daughters. Let's set all of that aside for now.
It seems the self-righteous, straight-arrow steamroller that is New York State's (soon to be ex-) Governor wanted to get it on with the a-fore mentioned call girl without a condom.
What?
Excuse me?
What?
Putting aside the (soon to be ex-) Governor's obvious narcissistic tendencies and general feelings of entitlement, I have to askwhat?
If he has in fact had physical contact with his wife since having contact with any of these call girls - is this not assault, attempted assault?
The Clinton Attack Machine
Did anybody else hear that?
I could have sworn, as Obama mocked Hillary's mention of a dream ticket, I heard the Clinton Attack Machine kick into gear.
Those of you watching/aware of politics in the late eighties/nineties know that the Clintons can take apart somebody when they really have to.
My advice to Obama: It looks like the bear is sleeping - DON'T FUCKING POKE THE BEAR.
What does one learn from a wax Nicolas Cage?
Today was the fourth time in 5 days that I have been blessed with what I call the F-Train special. For those of you not familiar with the New York Subway, the train does not stand for the Fuck Train, although, given the irregularity of its service it should. It is the train that runs from Coney Island through Brooklyn into Manhattan and then out to the far reaches of Queens. It is slow and it is crowded. During rush hour, it is really crowded.
The unwritten rules of New York subway etiquette call for morning rush hour to be a quiet affair, the evening rush is like a Bangkok streetfight (lot's of unintelligible yelling and people, objects and animals strewn abvout) but the morning is quiet. It is commonly accepted that while you may be forced to stand jammed next to the guy who rolled out of bed with just enough time to get to work, thus skipping his shower, he reeks of last night's $6 all you can drink Old Crow with a Schiltz chaser special, it will at least be quiet. You may be subjected to being repeatedly stabbed in the ribs by the anorexic artist lugging her oversized portfolio in for another gallery meeting that is just going to result in her going home and cutting the arms that at the moment she can't keep at her side, but at least it will be quiet.
That all changes with the dreaded field trip. School buses are practically non-existent in NYC and thus the only way to get kids to these excursions into the great big world of knowledge is via public transportation. School kids obviously have never read the unwritten rules of the morning commute.
If you want to know what the noise is, get yourself the following -
1 - Weasel
1 - Wolverine
1 - Chimney Swift (not a sweep a swift, but if the sweep were high pitched enough, it would do)
1 - large burlap bag
1 - sound system (preferably the one used by Metallica)
Put the weasel, wolverine and swift in the bag, use the sound system to amplify - there the sound of a group of school kids on the NY subway at 8:30 in the morning. Somebody please kill me.
Another particular about using public transportation here in NY is the train switch. I take the F-train two stops and switch for a faster (note: I said faster not fast) train. Three of the four days, my train switch has been mimicked by the groups of school kids. Fear not, their glee had not abated and they were expressing it as loudly as they could. Bless their little pink suffocatable lungs.
On to the A train and the noise continues. A little more room on the A-train than on the F-train. The little rodents spread out like an oil spill, all the better to deafen you. Sombody find me a cope of the unwritten rules and beat them in the head with it.
25 minutes later - my destination, the 8th ring of Hell - Times Square. Yay, the kids are going to Times Square as well. What educational wonders await them in Times Square? Are they going to see a play? Drama, intrigue, the magic of theatre? Perhaps they are going to the Intrepid? History and honor. I know, a broadcasting location. They will see how radio and television get made and sent out across the airwaves.
There they go, bless there little knowledge seeking hearts. Yup down 42nd street to the wonders that await them at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum.
I know that was a long diatribe but I was just free writing. Still, this is NYC. It has a lot of educational and cultural things to learn from. When did wax figures become a destination for a school field trip? What does looking at a wax Britney Spears teach some little kid that he hasn't already seen on E! about the Pop Tart. They may learn from the wax Nicolas Cage that brown leather pants are a mistake but by looking at some of them, I know they will make that mistake regardless.
People, we owe it to our children to make sure that the educational system does better by our children. Museums, art galleries, theatre and so much moreNY has it. Take them to the Guggenheim - art, architecture, the wonders of the upper east side and all of it not serviced by the F or A trains.
Victimless Crime
This is primarily directed at the douchebag Alan Dershowitz, who went on CNN last night saying we should leave poor (soon to be ex-) NY Governor Spitzer alone because what he did was not so bad and was in effect a victimless crime.
Well, Alan, I think that the (soon to be ex-) Governor's (soon to be ex-) wife might disagree with that sentiment. Let's just set aside the fact that he was sleeping with a call girl on the evening before Valentine's Day. Let's set aside the fact that he is implicated in having done this on occasions before this one. Let's set aside the Mann Act. Let's set aside the psychological trauma and social devestation of his three teenage daughters. Let's set all of that aside for now.
It seems the self-righteous, straight-arrow steamroller that is New York State's (soon to be ex-) Governor wanted to get it on with the a-fore mentioned call girl without a condom.
What?
Excuse me?
What?
Putting aside the (soon to be ex-) Governor's obvious narcissistic tendencies and general feelings of entitlement, I have to askwhat?
If he has in fact had physical contact with his wife since having contact with any of these call girls - is this not assault, attempted assault?
The Clinton Attack Machine
Did anybody else hear that?
I could have sworn, as Obama mocked Hillary's mention of a dream ticket, I heard the Clinton Attack Machine kick into gear.
Those of you watching/aware of politics in the late eighties/nineties know that the Clintons can take apart somebody when they really have to.
My advice to Obama: It looks like the bear is sleeping - DON'T FUCKING POKE THE BEAR.
What does one learn from a wax Nicolas Cage?
Today was the fourth time in 5 days that I have been blessed with what I call the F-Train special. For those of you not familiar with the New York Subway, the train does not stand for the Fuck Train, although, given the irregularity of its service it should. It is the train that runs from Coney Island through Brooklyn into Manhattan and then out to the far reaches of Queens. It is slow and it is crowded. During rush hour, it is really crowded.
The unwritten rules of New York subway etiquette call for morning rush hour to be a quiet affair, the evening rush is like a Bangkok streetfight (lot's of unintelligible yelling and people, objects and animals strewn abvout) but the morning is quiet. It is commonly accepted that while you may be forced to stand jammed next to the guy who rolled out of bed with just enough time to get to work, thus skipping his shower, he reeks of last night's $6 all you can drink Old Crow with a Schiltz chaser special, it will at least be quiet. You may be subjected to being repeatedly stabbed in the ribs by the anorexic artist lugging her oversized portfolio in for another gallery meeting that is just going to result in her going home and cutting the arms that at the moment she can't keep at her side, but at least it will be quiet.
That all changes with the dreaded field trip. School buses are practically non-existent in NYC and thus the only way to get kids to these excursions into the great big world of knowledge is via public transportation. School kids obviously have never read the unwritten rules of the morning commute.
If you want to know what the noise is, get yourself the following -
1 - Weasel
1 - Wolverine
1 - Chimney Swift (not a sweep a swift, but if the sweep were high pitched enough, it would do)
1 - large burlap bag
1 - sound system (preferably the one used by Metallica)
Put the weasel, wolverine and swift in the bag, use the sound system to amplify - there the sound of a group of school kids on the NY subway at 8:30 in the morning. Somebody please kill me.
Another particular about using public transportation here in NY is the train switch. I take the F-train two stops and switch for a faster (note: I said faster not fast) train. Three of the four days, my train switch has been mimicked by the groups of school kids. Fear not, their glee had not abated and they were expressing it as loudly as they could. Bless their little pink suffocatable lungs.
On to the A train and the noise continues. A little more room on the A-train than on the F-train. The little rodents spread out like an oil spill, all the better to deafen you. Sombody find me a cope of the unwritten rules and beat them in the head with it.
25 minutes later - my destination, the 8th ring of Hell - Times Square. Yay, the kids are going to Times Square as well. What educational wonders await them in Times Square? Are they going to see a play? Drama, intrigue, the magic of theatre? Perhaps they are going to the Intrepid? History and honor. I know, a broadcasting location. They will see how radio and television get made and sent out across the airwaves.
There they go, bless there little knowledge seeking hearts. Yup down 42nd street to the wonders that await them at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum.
I know that was a long diatribe but I was just free writing. Still, this is NYC. It has a lot of educational and cultural things to learn from. When did wax figures become a destination for a school field trip? What does looking at a wax Britney Spears teach some little kid that he hasn't already seen on E! about the Pop Tart. They may learn from the wax Nicolas Cage that brown leather pants are a mistake but by looking at some of them, I know they will make that mistake regardless.
People, we owe it to our children to make sure that the educational system does better by our children. Museums, art galleries, theatre and so much moreNY has it. Take them to the Guggenheim - art, architecture, the wonders of the upper east side and all of it not serviced by the F or A trains.