idolessxo

Good God I am sick. I passed out around 9 last night (such an odd thing for me to do if you know my sleeping patterns.. or lack thereof), and woke up at 2am coughing my guts out. I swear.. there was more phlegm in my system than I have ever had in my life. I ended up coughing so bad I puked all over the bathroom floor. Now *that* was fun to clean up

Ehh. Not having such a fun time these past few days. The boy is in NorCal and I'm stuck here with $7 to last me until Saturday. And that's considering gas & cigarettes. Oh, wonderful.

Lately I've been feeling like I'm losing my sense of self.. or maybe it is all just a blur of everything going on around me. Things just keep moving too fast, making me trip over my own two feet. Melissa once said that it is just me, in mid-morph into the person I'm going to become. Like a stage I have to go through of sorts. I think I am still stuck in that; a sick ring-around-the-rosie. Circling around myself, just watching, but not reaching for anything. I think this mostly has to do with the fact that I am going to have to endure living with my father and his fiance for the next two years, unless I am able to find and afford somewhere on Cape to live.

Ahh, this really hurts my head.

I think I need another nap.