Muhahahahah. I just won 8 in the Euromillions Lottery! Count em! EIGHT! I can finally retire!
What should I spend my vast winnings on?! I was thinking of huge titanium killer robot earwigs...but that might run a little more than eight euro.
Ooo I could buy one tuesday afternoon ticket to the cinema! Or half a main course at the resteraunt down the road
Actually I am stupidly happy I won something, I'm possibly the unluckiest guy around. I never ever win anything in draws, lotteries, games of chance, ticket events, random good fortune. Even that one time I played russian roulette...
I tell ya it's quite annoying going through metal detectors at the airport now, though you can have some fun pretending it's an alien implant and not a .45 bullet some chinese guy bet I'd get hit by. Last time I accpet an invite to a 'party' by those shady triads.
Only "light-beer" and no sour cream and onion dip?! Call that a party!?
(Actually it's interesting****, I have more scars on my head than everywhere else on my body put together. Generally leads me to believe that sucessvie blows and bangs to the head mean I'm probably somewhat deranged. Or it means I just really suck at protecting my cranium. At least it's not boring eh? *counts* Ok I have 6 scars....surely that would affect my attention span at the very leas.....LETS ALL GO RIDE BIKES!!!!)
Usually unlucky, thats me.
Actually that's a lie, I once won a scratch-card lotto ticket in 1997!
I danced for weeks after that
My cousin won 10,000 on one of those scratch cards before, he had it spent in exactly 1 month and had NOTHING to show for it. Except the worlds biggest hangover and a whole raft of new 'friends'. Who prompty dissapeared. Werid that...eh?
But I guess lucky things do happen now and then. I think I have an agreement with the universe that it saves up all my good karma and pays it off in lump sums.
Damn cosmos, playing with me...wait...no I didn't mean that *shouts into the cosmos* really I didn't, you're great, and that hat looks fantastic on you!
Today has been otherwise tedious. Looking for a job is evil.
I feel like I'm in 'Catch 22', I can't get a job cause I don't have experience. I can't get experience without a job.
All I'm missing is the Italian sunshine, Germans fighting me and..well...some hot italian girl being in love with..er..me...and....the whole of WWII...being on...err....so I guess it's nothing like 'Catch 22'...
*goes and sits in the corner*
Actually WWII might make things a little more interesting round here.
I know my mum used to say there was World War III whenever my next door neighbours came home drunk, when I was a kid.
But no matter how many times I checked I never got to see any tanks, soldiers or guns.
I must have always missed it. Stupid 9pm bedtime.
****Ok thats not interesting. So sue me!**
** Please don't sue me
What should I spend my vast winnings on?! I was thinking of huge titanium killer robot earwigs...but that might run a little more than eight euro.
Ooo I could buy one tuesday afternoon ticket to the cinema! Or half a main course at the resteraunt down the road
Actually I am stupidly happy I won something, I'm possibly the unluckiest guy around. I never ever win anything in draws, lotteries, games of chance, ticket events, random good fortune. Even that one time I played russian roulette...
I tell ya it's quite annoying going through metal detectors at the airport now, though you can have some fun pretending it's an alien implant and not a .45 bullet some chinese guy bet I'd get hit by. Last time I accpet an invite to a 'party' by those shady triads.
Only "light-beer" and no sour cream and onion dip?! Call that a party!?
(Actually it's interesting****, I have more scars on my head than everywhere else on my body put together. Generally leads me to believe that sucessvie blows and bangs to the head mean I'm probably somewhat deranged. Or it means I just really suck at protecting my cranium. At least it's not boring eh? *counts* Ok I have 6 scars....surely that would affect my attention span at the very leas.....LETS ALL GO RIDE BIKES!!!!)
Usually unlucky, thats me.
Actually that's a lie, I once won a scratch-card lotto ticket in 1997!
I danced for weeks after that
My cousin won 10,000 on one of those scratch cards before, he had it spent in exactly 1 month and had NOTHING to show for it. Except the worlds biggest hangover and a whole raft of new 'friends'. Who prompty dissapeared. Werid that...eh?
But I guess lucky things do happen now and then. I think I have an agreement with the universe that it saves up all my good karma and pays it off in lump sums.
Damn cosmos, playing with me...wait...no I didn't mean that *shouts into the cosmos* really I didn't, you're great, and that hat looks fantastic on you!
Today has been otherwise tedious. Looking for a job is evil.
I feel like I'm in 'Catch 22', I can't get a job cause I don't have experience. I can't get experience without a job.
All I'm missing is the Italian sunshine, Germans fighting me and..well...some hot italian girl being in love with..er..me...and....the whole of WWII...being on...err....so I guess it's nothing like 'Catch 22'...
*goes and sits in the corner*
Actually WWII might make things a little more interesting round here.
I know my mum used to say there was World War III whenever my next door neighbours came home drunk, when I was a kid.
But no matter how many times I checked I never got to see any tanks, soldiers or guns.
I must have always missed it. Stupid 9pm bedtime.
****Ok thats not interesting. So sue me!**
** Please don't sue me
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I am totally up for the erotic recipe book