Wow well I decided to head out again last night and ended up drinking once more.
3 days in a row on the batter. I'm not used to this! I would normally have a days respite between!
My liver is filing divorce papers as we speak!
But I needed to field test my latest invention. The chick-magnet.
I knocked it together out of some old sheet metal, PVC and plutonium I found lying around in the shed.
On a side note I've discovered that dogs have an inherent fear of godzilla masks that make a roaring noise.
I've also discovered that you should put antiseptic onto bites and scratches as soon as possible after violent dog attacks.
Well anyway, the chick magnet worked a treat and I managed to get a very nice girl called Aisling after some brief interference play from a friend of a friend of mine.
It was quite a laugh however something really strange happened when I got back to her place.
It is in the running for the "Most Inexplicable Thing To Occur At The Most Inopertune Moment" awards 2005.
While on her bed and while performing certain 'acts' (like trying to figure out how to disentagle a bunch of chains from her quilt cover) I leaned over (to get some more leverage) only to nearly crush a small furry white thing with a huge ass tail.
My mind uttered one brief "!" and I think my cerebellum fused. I remember camly saying "There seems to be a white rat on your bed".
Turns out it was "Marshmallow". Her gerbil. I was under the impression it was a white rat and the pet shop owner saw her coming.
Anyway, it certainly was 'interesting' in a "I never want to almost crush a girls pet gerbil with my hip again" way.
Picture of 'Masrhmallow' plotting the destruction of the world.
I tried to patent the Chick-Magnet but the nasty guy at the patent office told me to insert various objects into places they shouldn't go.
But I don't care, more for me. To be honest I needed to do something. After the entire week before last girls-thinking-Im-gay debacle.
I put it down to the fact I was well dressed and not they saw me absent mindedly mincing about to Kylie during one of my mysterious blackouts or something.
3 days in a row on the batter. I'm not used to this! I would normally have a days respite between!
My liver is filing divorce papers as we speak!
But I needed to field test my latest invention. The chick-magnet.
I knocked it together out of some old sheet metal, PVC and plutonium I found lying around in the shed.
On a side note I've discovered that dogs have an inherent fear of godzilla masks that make a roaring noise.
I've also discovered that you should put antiseptic onto bites and scratches as soon as possible after violent dog attacks.
Well anyway, the chick magnet worked a treat and I managed to get a very nice girl called Aisling after some brief interference play from a friend of a friend of mine.
It was quite a laugh however something really strange happened when I got back to her place.
It is in the running for the "Most Inexplicable Thing To Occur At The Most Inopertune Moment" awards 2005.
While on her bed and while performing certain 'acts' (like trying to figure out how to disentagle a bunch of chains from her quilt cover) I leaned over (to get some more leverage) only to nearly crush a small furry white thing with a huge ass tail.
My mind uttered one brief "!" and I think my cerebellum fused. I remember camly saying "There seems to be a white rat on your bed".
Turns out it was "Marshmallow". Her gerbil. I was under the impression it was a white rat and the pet shop owner saw her coming.
Anyway, it certainly was 'interesting' in a "I never want to almost crush a girls pet gerbil with my hip again" way.
Picture of 'Masrhmallow' plotting the destruction of the world.
I tried to patent the Chick-Magnet but the nasty guy at the patent office told me to insert various objects into places they shouldn't go.
But I don't care, more for me. To be honest I needed to do something. After the entire week before last girls-thinking-Im-gay debacle.
I put it down to the fact I was well dressed and not they saw me absent mindedly mincing about to Kylie during one of my mysterious blackouts or something.
Mop injury spray? Gimme! I'm going to need it - not only is the guy upstairs annoyingly loud, but they've got invisible people doing building work. As in, there are lots of odd carpentry type noises going on, and piles of sawdust or toolboxes here and there, but I have yet to actually see anyone doing anything.