THe days of spies and roses are over. Too deep is the hole.
It's my way, though. The house can be falling in on my head, and I'll still try to hold it up myself. I cant ever step back and just let something crumble.
On the upside, it's nice to know that many/most of my suspicions were correct, and it's nice to know that I'm right-she is STILL lying to me about lying to me.
On the downside, how much of a fool am I? If someone else were in the position(s), I'd have advised them to save their skin.
Let's examine where things were in previous years at the beginning of new calenders....and what did I miss in those years?
2004, here's where the trouble begins with HER. The beginning of "not good enough". Yea, I'm picky, I have standards. I dont aplogize for not being willing to simply accept what life hands to me. Sheer hypocrisy, to be criticized but not expected to do the same. I suspect foul and slanderous gossip fueled things, but I have no proof of it-but she is a fool and believes whatever she is told. Had she known me as she claims, she'd have known better. Mere months into the year, we take a break-I needed to look at options. In retrospect, perhaps I SHOULD have run off to Arizona to co-op that porn company. They've made quite a turnaround, and X was willing to be very accomodating.
2003, it was like a fresh caught fish:stinky, unattractive, a lot of work, but the meaty innards could be cooked to flavorful delight. Or, it was supposed to be. It ended up just stinking. Actually, this IS the one time I've just stepped back and let things crumble-the one time I DID just RUN. Lotsa good it did me.
2002, my how optimistically the year started. Work was fine, promotion in line, Anna and I were fine, Darren and Steph were to stay, we just needed to get Darren work....I couldnt have forseen that 2002 would be the last year of Kevinkind as I knew myself. Met Austin, blew off the best possibility ever-again, to try and hold up a crumbling home.
2001, actually a decent start-finally got SOME kind of assistance from family, and moved to my own adventure. Work was good, friends were good. Shag productivity went WAY up.
2000, the beginning of promises false. "Great" new job that I would go far in (hah!), freedom from school, and the much regretted trip to meet HER for the first time.
So....whats on tap for this year?
Nothing, I suspect. I'm going into this year without any desires, goals, expectations, hopes. Nothing that can be ruined. Apathy. Take THAT away from me-you cant.
I'm going somewhere. I just dont know where or when.
It's my way, though. The house can be falling in on my head, and I'll still try to hold it up myself. I cant ever step back and just let something crumble.
On the upside, it's nice to know that many/most of my suspicions were correct, and it's nice to know that I'm right-she is STILL lying to me about lying to me.
On the downside, how much of a fool am I? If someone else were in the position(s), I'd have advised them to save their skin.
Let's examine where things were in previous years at the beginning of new calenders....and what did I miss in those years?
2004, here's where the trouble begins with HER. The beginning of "not good enough". Yea, I'm picky, I have standards. I dont aplogize for not being willing to simply accept what life hands to me. Sheer hypocrisy, to be criticized but not expected to do the same. I suspect foul and slanderous gossip fueled things, but I have no proof of it-but she is a fool and believes whatever she is told. Had she known me as she claims, she'd have known better. Mere months into the year, we take a break-I needed to look at options. In retrospect, perhaps I SHOULD have run off to Arizona to co-op that porn company. They've made quite a turnaround, and X was willing to be very accomodating.
2003, it was like a fresh caught fish:stinky, unattractive, a lot of work, but the meaty innards could be cooked to flavorful delight. Or, it was supposed to be. It ended up just stinking. Actually, this IS the one time I've just stepped back and let things crumble-the one time I DID just RUN. Lotsa good it did me.
2002, my how optimistically the year started. Work was fine, promotion in line, Anna and I were fine, Darren and Steph were to stay, we just needed to get Darren work....I couldnt have forseen that 2002 would be the last year of Kevinkind as I knew myself. Met Austin, blew off the best possibility ever-again, to try and hold up a crumbling home.
2001, actually a decent start-finally got SOME kind of assistance from family, and moved to my own adventure. Work was good, friends were good. Shag productivity went WAY up.
2000, the beginning of promises false. "Great" new job that I would go far in (hah!), freedom from school, and the much regretted trip to meet HER for the first time.
So....whats on tap for this year?
Nothing, I suspect. I'm going into this year without any desires, goals, expectations, hopes. Nothing that can be ruined. Apathy. Take THAT away from me-you cant.
I'm going somewhere. I just dont know where or when.
I cancelled my SG account because I'm simply not using the site lately, but I'll be back at some point. Look me up again if you like.
Have a badass 2005 man...