i_have_no_socks

I think I am seriously just going to give up on finding any bloody relationship alltogether.. every girl I have ever asked has bloody said no or I love you but not in that way or I just see you as a friend or they say something then later on they find someone and then go for them and it is like ok wtf why are you going out with him when he is in the same age group as me and like only a couple years difference or whatever shit and ok I know they would have feelings for that person but it still makes yah feel fucking worthless... seriously it feels like utter shit... and I just never know what my problem is and it really is agravating because you don't know and when you do ask why there is just never a clear cut answer and it really begins to piss me off at times and upsets me because I don't know and every single bloody time it is a no no no or just see you as a friend blah blah blah, I just really don't get it ok yes feelings I know that they can't be changed but just arrrghhhh!, oh you are to old oh you are not old enough oh this oh that and then later oh i have feelings for him... but he is the same age group as me oh but you are 2 years older than him that is not a hell of alot, and it isnt even like I am looking for a relationship so i am not purposefully walking into this and it still bloody happens every single fucking time.. oh you are this this, like i said at the begining of this post I am just gonna bloody give up on ever having a relationship there is no point, none ever even begin for me so why should I even bother, fuck feelings they can go off and die for all I care, and then you get them saying oh but you are a great guy you'll find someone, yeah fucking right and it is just like don't bull shit me you can't honestly say that because you don't know if you honestly knew anything you would be able to give me an answer to why i wasn't good enough for you or whatever, I seriously feel like just getting up and walking off and dissapearing for a while, anyone got a giant pit i can jump into for a while?, fuck it all relationships can just fully dissapear from my life i think since there has never even been one ever to begin with......