i don't doubt that you'd rather deal with some bullshit than go without. without a warm body next to you at sunsetand the fond fading memories of when the two of you first met. but it's meetings and greetings that can choke out and drown the seedlings and cause you to neglect yourself and what your heart's needing and he's kneading you like a baker with bread begginings and the yeast will thrive just as the hatred in your heart's beating and the sweats beeding and rolling off the end of my nose again and i'm ashamed that this body belongs not to a man so thin but it's deep within that's what your ideals preach but it's too deep and just beyond your arms' reach so it's time to teach, the world about diamond minds (intentional)and how the most precious things on the planet are sohard to findmuke up your own mind or have it made up for youand that's a hard concept so i adore you and this adoration is based more on your inner ponits and insides than what's on the surface of your landscape and the purpose behind each and every handshake and this man breaks everytime he walks awaycause his thoughts are still astray and he's dwelling on the better days before he knew nothing of heart break and a sisyphian back ache and the only concern for those days was what kind of snack to take for recess and lunchtime and i'm attempting to crunch lines write up to the edge of the page and the pens gone suicidal and lep off the edge of it's stage. but it survived and it's climbing up my arm now and it's writing on my face and attempt to read the message my pens skrawled out for me in the mirror but it's illedgeable so i ask you to try to read my expessions and maybe answer all of my pen's written questions and maybe you can get back to me on wht it is you see written in the creases of my forehead and instead i've been abandoned and left for dead. i've been left alive with so little life left that my right side begins to fight the other and my body is just bereft and with my remaining breath i shout "THERE'SBEEN A THEFT!!" i found restlessness in the space between your breastsrest my head on you hollow chest and refuse to reminice about our long forgotten kiss the nature of which was venomousand i'm still recovering the use of my left arm and leg and digit movement is nonexistent now inconsisten now in the distance i catch my first glance of a mirage or oasis. one's a trick of the brain brought on by physical diress the other's a slick sip of wine and an end to pain and stress. it's the latter of the two the best of my options it's the only thing pleasant when refused for addoption it's the unatainable and it's just across this busy road the greatest thing that was ever showed to me or you or him or her and if i can dodge this traffic then i can spread the word if i can make it past these trucks that pass as quickly and dangerously as our first fuck so wish me luck as i venture down this rabbit hole and extinguish ciggarettes by stabbin coles there's too many people in wonderland and the land of OZ has been converted into a ghetto so many munchkins forced to move on and let godon't forget though the both lnads exist in your dream and you'll regret conciousness when awoken by screamstears vomit and reality presenting itself to you with anfetimine brutality the mbest there is the one left standing shuttle pilot preforming the ideal landing so good, great, amazing and as perfect and pragmatic as an asmatic infant addict. dig the scenes that i depict and the pain that i inflict opon your being until you realize it's the truth that you're seeing 