I haven't written here for some time.
I've been on the site daily, weirdly liking and commenting on your sets and blogs. But I haven't felt any real inspiration to write.
I'm in my last week of flying around the country for this job secondment. This week I am in Hervey Bay. Feeling very bored and lonely.
This seems to be a bit of an ongoing feeling these past three months. The travel has its good parts and bad parts. On one hand, I've been racking up airline miles, eating expensive meals on a corporate credit card, catching up with friends in towns where I have them. The downside is entire days lost in transit, lack of consistency and continuity in my home life. Eating expensive meals on the corporate credit card and not exercising. Trying to cram social engagements in on the Friday I get home only to then waste the whole weekend hungover and regretting the choices I've made and the things I've said and done while drunk. I feel like I have drifted away from my friends a bit. I haven't been able to meet or make a connection with anyone because I'm not around. I miss my cat. I miss my bed. I miss groceries!
The job has been pretty fucking boring too. I'm not sure whether it's because I'm really good at it, or if I handle and organize situations better than my colleagues, if the business greatly over-estimated the amount of work required, or if I'm actually doing a really bad job. I am in towns for 5 days and I have finished the work inside a day and a half. Then I stand around doing nothing for days, sleep in, go home early. And this week in a town where I know no one, it's awful.
Two weeks ago I was in Ballina and was fortunate enough to take a day off and spend it with a friend. We went to the zoo and to Byron Bay for lunch, sat out at Lennox Head and watched the surf. It was so lovely.
I know no one here and I don't know what to do with myself.
Next week I'm not even sure I'll have actual work to do when I go back to my "old" job. I've been filabustering around to do something different when I finish here and I have some things in the pipeline, but until something is finalized I will just continue to be bored. Taking long coffee breaks and going home early, going home and watching too much Netflix.
I need something else in my life. Something to excite me and drive me and make me want to get up and go in the morning.