The hardest part to fix.
In my overly-analytical mind, there are two parts to this. The first of which is attraction.
For someone to be attracted to you, it doesn't really have that much to do with physical looks. Lord knows I'm not classically "handsome". But being comfortable and accepting in yourself and confident in spite of anything else is what makes someone attractive. Personally, I think I've come a long way with that aspect of myself. So I don't necessarily think that on the surface I'm unattractive, because I have a bunch of good qualities that make me attractive.
The other part, here's where I struggle. I think chemistry is sort of "created" by body language and physicality. By "making a move", per se.
I'm not that guy. I don't go out to pick up. I don't do one night stands. I am an organized and thoughtful person and I unfortunately bring that in to relationships and the pursuit of. I genuinely enjoy the getting-to-know-you time. Learning things about people and giving substance to the physicality if it is to eventuate. This makes it way more fulfilling and passionate because it's not just dicks touching vaginas, it's a person touching a person. I hate watching dudes throw themselves at and being all over girls. I find that gross and creepy. Clearly it works, it's the accepted social convention of courtship. But it's not for me. I want to touch you, but I want to make sure you aren't just a pretty dickhead first.
I literally can't perform under those conditions. Nothing goes further than that first instant of lust. You won't want to go to lunch the next day and see me again because I was so disappointing the night before.
"Will you think less of me if we have sex right now?"
"No.. but will you think less of me if I say we should wait?"
My lack of forthrightness and lack of instant physical devotion to you, however beautiful I find every part about you, whatever exceptions to every rule you turn out to be, isn't a sign that I'm not attracted to you, and it shouldn't mean that there isn't "chemistry" because I was respectful of you and had planned to go on a few dates before anything more happened. I'm an adult and I want something more than the back seat of your car, drunk at 2am on a Friday morning having only met you a few hours prior.