Hopefully these sad and depressing posts will be fewer soon. Probably not entirely non-existent, but fewer.
It hasn't been an easy day. My boss is on holiday for the next 3 weeks, so his boss is now my boss, for the next 3 weeks. I don't make a habit of talking about work on social media in a negative way under any circumstances anymore just in case. But today I felt like there was a LOT of pressure on me, from a lot of stakeholders, all at once, as well as pressure to just fit my day-to-day tasks in, on top of the extra work boss number 2 is expecting of me. Granted, it's career progression kind of work, progression of my projects and my babies that I've been developing over the past year and a half, but hard just at this very minute.
Hard because I'm only in the office 3 days this week and 4 days next because I cancelled my V-day plans to have a weekend at the Gold Coast to go and see my family and friends which I so desperately need right now. And hard because of the reasons for my trip to see the family and friends.
I feel like I do a decent job at putting on a poker face, but apparently not. People notice and people ask. Boss 2 asked today and it was awkward because of how empathetic he was. I told him I'm happy having the work to do right now because it keeps my mind focused on something else, but at the same time it's been hard to focus. And then in the face of having so much to do I get flustered and rush and I make mistakes. As an analyst, I need to be precise, I need to be exact.
It's all very real now. She came home and said she had signed the lease, and immediately started packing. It's probably going to be all over by the time I get home next Monday. I'm probably not even going to know what things she's taken and what new things I need to buy. I'm trying to look at that part in a positive way, because I guess I love interior design? I love designing and creating spaces. I like the aesthetic. I've been thinking about how I'd like to have things, how I'm going to rearrange, making lists of what I need to get to fulfill these plans. I love catalogue shopping and I love doing my research and I love making lists. So when I get to do this it's going to be a really great distraction. But it will be next weekend unfortunately due to my plans to go home. So there'll be another week of living in the same configuration with the mess around me, on my own. And THAT is going to suck a dick.