i_am_ghost

So some things have started to be set in to motion.

I told Adam that I was thinking about moving out when the lease runs out. He wasn't pleased at the fact that he would have to move again. But within half an hour he had found other people to move in with. I didn't tell Shane because he's like.. my best friend.. but he's been the main problem really. So Adam told me. He knew that I was unhappy and was accepting of the fact that I wanted to try and get my shit together.

I asked my mum if I could move in to the spare room for the time being. She texted back with "Ok". And that was all. And then a few hours later she texted me back asking if I was alright and if I wanted to come over for dinner to talk about things. My brother had already been cleaning out the room ready for me. How sweet is that. I wont be doing anything for 2 months and he was so excited that he began cleaning out the room and just blew it off as "having nothing else to do".

It's another thing that's seemingly a backwards step but actually a forwards step. It will save me a bunch of money in rent and living expenses. I can stay there until I either find someone else I think I could stand living with, or if the dream comes true.. move to Brisbane. It's pretty much all I think about at the moment. I have gone through a few of these little "I wanna move to Brisbane!" stages but I had never even made any of the little steps in between. I'm much more independent and grown-up now and have handled a lot of real world situations that I'd never had to be exposed to while living with my family. It hinges mainly on whether I can get a transfer to a different uni. Even then I may just defer with a year left in my degree.

With these things in mind I've been positive and motivated in the past few days. Usually I have a routine of waking up late, laying in bed for over an hour watching TV or on the computer, moving to the couch and doing much the same for hours and hours until I go to work. Ok, so some of that is still the same, and I'm currently laying in bed on the computer.. haha.. but I guess my mind is doing things constructive while I'm here. In addition to this, I've been cleaning the house every day, even though it's not my mess. Something that's usually done in turns, I just do it all the time now. I cooked a bunch of stuff yesterday for upcoming meals. I have been good and not spent any of the money I've allowed for myself over the next 2 weeks. Saving as much as I can for..

February 17.. Brisbane holiday timmeeeeeeeeee! So fucking excited. There are the very real possibilities of having little to no money and being pretty much confined to Penny's house for the entire time. Until I go to Soundwave. But I have many good intentions! The fact that I'm away from here is excitement in itself. I haven't left town since this time last year - I used to take 4 holidays a year when I worked full-time. Now I pay rent and have bills and go to uni and don't get holiday pay. Oh and the THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF DEBT. Yeah that.

I want to do lots of things. I have lots of friends to see. I want to go to the zoo. I want to go out and have fun. I want to kiss and I want to cuddle the one who only eats veggie patties.