i_am_ghost

I think I drank wood

I made this milk shake and because there was hardly any milk I used a tonne of ice cream, and it would just stick to the sides of the jug as the blades spun. So I used the end of a wooden spoon to try and encourage mixing and I hit the blades, and when I took the spoon out it looked like there was a big piece missing. I didn't feel any wood go down so perhaps it was just really concentrated.

That is, sadly, seriously the most interesting news I have. I feel unease in my loins. Like I'm about to learn some bad news.

I just added this band on Myspace that I have seen play once and was very impressed with. They're made up of a bunch of guys from various other deceased bands. Here in Townsville we have this thing called "TSV Mosh" that helps promote the punk/emo/hardcore scene and help bring bands up here like Ammity Affliction and Parkway Drive. And North Queensland as a whole has the "Punk Alliance" who organise gigs. This band, The Street Pirates, are part of it. They had this really gorgeous female singer that just left town and they were recently in the market for a new singer. I've been thinking about it for about a week and I think I may endevour to try out.

I don't know what I'm doing with this.. I used to write songs all the time when I sung in the band that I am now drummer of, but they were, for the most part, really lame. For a long time now I've been able to write 1 line, 2 lines, 4 lines that were good, but never be able to expand on them to make a whole song. And my main problem when I was singer was my choice of melody. I more often than not would sing the same notes as the guitars, and most of my verses were sort of melodically spoken and not sung. I haven't done anything good vocally for a long time.

Penny from work was talking about trying out for Idol. She wants me to come along with her and try out, as she knows no one else who likes to sing. The thing with this is.. the Townsville and Cairns auditions are significantly smaller than the ones in the major cities. There aren't gigantic lines. I'm thinking that if I go do this, that I will be on television standing in line. I wont be on there because I was a star who got through, or because I was some loser who sweeps the street in the Queen Street Mall in Brisbane who thinks he can sing. I'll be this guy standing in line.

Last Friday Todd and I ran Todd's errands, one of which was to take a couple of songs on a CD in to SeaFM. They play local bands on Sunday afternoons. It's songs with our old singer because they're much more professionally recorded than the current ones we have. I don't know whether I'm on the radio yet because I don't listen to the radio. I have very little desire to begin listening to the radio.

I'm supposed to be at music class right now, but I am not. It's rarely fun anymore, and I really can't be fucked doing the assignments, even though I never have to work particularly hard to do them and successfully beat everyone else in the class (I've made it a competition even though it isn't). I have now missed three classes in the past four weeks, and next week is "school holidays", so I wont be going next week either. I am stupid and I waste my time.

I think generally I'm just really depressive.

Leah's here now. Hi Leah. I can't find her page though. I miss her very much, but much to my protest, I don't think things are ever going to go back to the way they were. Nothing (this time) I did ended things, I think she just got to the point where what I wanted was just too much for her to give me. I'm rather full-on. I spend the majority of my days pining over things I have no control over instead of doing things that I ought to be doing.

I've decided that if I woke up at 9 I would become more restless sooner and the things I'm meant to do would get done late in the afternoon, instead of me wanting to do them at 10pm when I shouldn't me making noise defrosting freezers or moving furniture or going to buy things from shops that are no longer open.

Basically I'm just a piece of crap who needs a job and a girlfriend.