I keep having dreams about another life where my family is still together.
We all live in the same city, in the same house, and my dad is still healthy and cranky. He isn't in a wheelchair and estranged from most, if not all of us.
My job and my college experience have somehow merged into one thing, and I'm always late. Perpetually late, even. There's a feeling of finality, of "this can't last, and isn't real." Maybe it's like that new television show "Awake," where this is another universe I go into, but if it is, it's a collapsing one. Things usually collapse into me fighting with my dad about something, telling my mother she's being an idiot (something I would never do, but probably would've in my teenage years) and then waking up.
I know where the dreams are coming from, I know why I feel so ill at ease. Change is coming. Some good times, some bad times, but always change. It normally terrifies me, but I know some of these changes are permanent and once they happen, there's no going back.
We all live in the same city, in the same house, and my dad is still healthy and cranky. He isn't in a wheelchair and estranged from most, if not all of us.
My job and my college experience have somehow merged into one thing, and I'm always late. Perpetually late, even. There's a feeling of finality, of "this can't last, and isn't real." Maybe it's like that new television show "Awake," where this is another universe I go into, but if it is, it's a collapsing one. Things usually collapse into me fighting with my dad about something, telling my mother she's being an idiot (something I would never do, but probably would've in my teenage years) and then waking up.
I know where the dreams are coming from, I know why I feel so ill at ease. Change is coming. Some good times, some bad times, but always change. It normally terrifies me, but I know some of these changes are permanent and once they happen, there's no going back.